More worried about summer. Being required to go back to the office. Not sure if sleepaway camp or any in-person camp will be safe enough, and I don't want the kids doing virtual, nor do I want to hire someone to be in (breathe) in my apartment 8 hours a day.

Take a deep breath. That is 9 months away. There were a lot of camps that were successful in operating this past summer. Hopefully, best practices will be shared so more can open safely. FWIW, my dd went to sleep away camp for 5 weeks this summer and there were no COVID cases.
Is there anything you can do to help you learn how to stay more in the moment? It takes a lot of practice but it’s worth it. We have no idea what next summer will bring. This year at this time we didn’t know there would be a pandemic. I bet you were worrying about completely different things, many of which didn’t happen.