Am I nuts to want a 2nd child at 43? Would I run out of energy to parent them well? Feeling ok now health and energy wise, but not sure how I'll be in 5 or 10 years. Older DC is 3. Anyone BTDT?
Go for it. I had my second at 38 and I was never that energetic, not in my 20s or early 30s . I think it’s nice for kids to have a sibling so if you want one you should do it.
Ditto here! 1st at 36 and 2nd at 38 and I still like to lounge around and relax. my 2 dcs play together so well, it would probably be harder to have one since they would expect more from me as far as playing.
My mom had me (only child) at 43. She did fine. It really wasn’t a big deal until now bc my parents need more support whereas my younger inlaws are still super active and independent. But it’s still totally fine and I am so grateful they are still around. My mom was so worried she wouldn’t live long enough to see me graduate, get married, have kids, but she has made it through all of these things, thankfully.
I'm just a little bit younger than you and the idea of having another dc now seems crazy to me BUT my dc are a lot older than yours and I think that's key. You're still in the thick of it anyway and it's nice to have siblings. You wouldn't be starting over, just setting back by a couple years and your dcs would be close in age. You should do it but do it right away. Also, don't get too attached to the outcome. It may or may not happen at your age and you should make peace either way. The last thing you want to do is waste these next few years torturing yourself trying to make something happen if it's not meant to be. If I were you, I'd give myself 6 months to try naturally and then move on.
I’d say get yourself an acupuncturist specializing on fertility issues asap. That might help with a healthy outcome as well. I personally wouldn’t do IVF. But the chances of getting pregnant all on your own without any help are slim at 43.
You never know until you try. One friend got pregnant easily at 46. She is a super happy and positive person and I suspect that may have helped but who knows. Hold off on checking fertility until you’ve been trying for a few months.
I'm 47 (almost 48) and I wouldn't want a 5 and 8 year old. But then again, my DC just started college, so young kids seem like a completely different life stage at this point.
I know someone whose mom was almost 54 when she conceived her. It must have been the last egg her body released. And this woman is a complete joy. Everyone loves her. I don’t think there’s such a thing as too old. if it’s meant to be, it will be.
I had my (only) son at 46 and I love it. Sure it can be exhausting but he's also my first, so no regrets. I'm also a high energy person. You already know what having a kid is like so base it more on how you feel rather than age, age is just a number.
No, I would not, but I am the parent of 2 special needs kids and have seen most of them have older parents. Also it is just exhausting in general. I'm not much older than you FWIW and I had my kids in my mid- 30's
Go for it. I had my second at 38 and I was never that energetic, not in my 20s or early 30s . I think it’s nice for kids to have a sibling so if you want one you should do it.
Ditto here! 1st at 36 and 2nd at 38 and I still like to lounge around and relax. my 2 dcs play together so well, it would probably be harder to have one since they would expect more from me as far as playing.
do it! i don't think that's too old.
My mom had me (only child) at 43. She did fine. It really wasn’t a big deal until now bc my parents need more support whereas my younger inlaws are still super active and independent. But it’s still totally fine and I am so grateful they are still around. My mom was so worried she wouldn’t live long enough to see me graduate, get married, have kids, but she has made it through all of these things, thankfully.
Talk to your doctor re: any risks to you, genetic risks, etc, vis a vis age. This will help you make an informed decision weighing risks and benefits.
Genetic risks and pregnancy complications as they relate to age would be a big concern for me as well. Agree you should discuss w doctor!
I'm just a little bit younger than you and the idea of having another dc now seems crazy to me BUT my dc are a lot older than yours and I think that's key. You're still in the thick of it anyway and it's nice to have siblings. You wouldn't be starting over, just setting back by a couple years and your dcs would be close in age. You should do it but do it right away. Also, don't get too attached to the outcome. It may or may not happen at your age and you should make peace either way. The last thing you want to do is waste these next few years torturing yourself trying to make something happen if it's not meant to be. If I were you, I'd give myself 6 months to try naturally and then move on.
This is very good advice. Get a fertility monitor and try seriously, see what happens.
I’d say get yourself an acupuncturist specializing on fertility issues asap. That might help with a healthy outcome as well. I personally wouldn’t do IVF. But the chances of getting pregnant all on your own without any help are slim at 43.
You never know until you try. One friend got pregnant easily at 46. She is a super happy and positive person and I suspect that may have helped but who knows. Hold off on checking fertility until you’ve been trying for a few months.
If you have to ask
My therapist had her second at 43 a few years ago. I don't think it's that old! Go for it!
I am also 43 and have a frozen embryo from when i was 35 I think about every day. I think it's ok! you wont regret it :)
I’m 46 and doing a fet soon. You are young! :)
good luck!
Thank you so much. Love the support here. On ub people really trolled this issue. I’m an UWSmom too btw.
I'm 47 (almost 48) and I wouldn't want a 5 and 8 year old. But then again, my DC just started college, so young kids seem like a completely different life stage at this point.
I know someone whose mom was almost 54 when she conceived her. It must have been the last egg her body released. And this woman is a complete joy. Everyone loves her. I don’t think there’s such a thing as too old. if it’s meant to be, it will be.
I had my (only) son at 46 and I love it. Sure it can be exhausting but he's also my first, so no regrets. I'm also a high energy person. You already know what having a kid is like so base it more on how you feel rather than age, age is just a number.
I had my kids at 40 and 42. Go for it. Good luck!
No, I would not, but I am the parent of 2 special needs kids and have seen most of them have older parents. Also it is just exhausting in general. I'm not much older than you FWIW and I had my kids in my mid- 30's
Do it ! Had my only at 42. . It works well in NYC. There are many older moms. - you will find the energy!