And frankly it's boring me to tears. how can I gently explain without losing my shit because I am at the end of my rope w/FT WOHM now home, pplus no help, that I don't want to hear her social analysis of friend dynamics and who sucks and who is nice blah blah ?.... hard to hide my annoyance.
Think of it this way - your DD feels comfortable with you to share at this level. Many parents have absolutely no idea what is going on in their teens/ tweens head. As she gets older you want to keep this line of communications open.As boring as it is, listen and throw in an occasional uh huh.
Isn't it better that she feels she can share with you? Most parents of teens complain that it's like pulling teeth to get their kids to open up about anything. How about you listen and feign interest for a time, then say "sorry, honey, that was fun, but I've got to back to work! talk again later!"
Trust me on this: you want to encourage this kind of conversation. You are getting a front row seat to hearing about friendships and how she analyzes and processes her relationships and her feelings (and by extension, how she feels about herself). You have many years ahead and trust me when I say that you will want that open line of communication. You have nothing--and I mean nothing--more important to do. Listen, talk to her, offer guidance and input where and when you can and use is it as a chance to learn about your DD. I used to take my DD to a coffee shop every single day after school all through elementary and MS. Hours upon hours of conversation. She used to get in the car and say, "We have to go right to the coffee shop. I have a lot to tell you." Then, in HS, her activities and driving and social life made those coffee dates fewer and fewer. She is now off to college and I don't regret a single minute of that time. It laid the foundation for a very open dialogue. Like all mothers and daughters, we have our moments of bickering, but I KNOW I get a lot more information from her than nearly any mom I can think of. Plus, when the stakes became higher--boyfriends, teachers, etc.--we already had the precedent of open communication. Plus, it's the part of parenting that no one but you, her mother, can offer. You want to leave your thumbprint on this because she'll draw on these conversations as she gets older and she'll remember what you said (even years later). Savor this. It's the good stuff.
I have a DS, but I totally agree. I've always been the one he feels comfortable talking with, sometimes it was tedious and I often struggled to find time for it when I had a ton of work to do or was just exhausted and wanted to chill, but it was like putting money in the parenting savings account that paid a high rate of interest later on. For example, when DC was stressed over college apps and sliding into clinical depression, and was able to tell me what was happening so I could try to get him some help, and now when he's nervous about college but also handling it remarkably well. It's a burden to be their transitional objects, but try to tolerate it if you can't enjoy it, it really is time well spent.
Sorry, but I don't understand your annoyance. She feels comfortable with you and opens up to you. That's a wonderful thing.
You suck!