Is anyone else constantly battling their child? She is so incredibly rude to me. if I say white she says black. if I am in a good mood she purposely says something cutting. I’m embarrassed to say she drives me to tears.
Yes, we went through this phase 11-12 and it's incredibly hard. First, you have to remember it really is not personal. You are the closest person so they save the best and worst for you. My goal was to try to go through this period with my dignity damaged as little as possible, meaning do not get into battles, you just can't win. Ignore as much as you can, enforce limits, call out maybe 10% of the time. Have you read Untangled and Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall. They are both very good. At 13, we have hit a temporary sweet period when DD is much more pleasant, even she pointed it out. I am waiting for the next wave.
talk to her about what she's doing and why. my guess is she's sad and frustrated and taking it out on you(kind of like tantruming toddlers). that last part isn't cool but if she feels that you accept her bad feelings and are willing to help her with them, it could reduce the rudeness.
unfortunately kind of normal given her age, desire for independence, and adding in the constraints of the pandemic/lockdown. its not easy but try to remember most of it isn't really about you.
Try to give her space, let her approach you, When you talk to her, try to make things like a suggestion or her idea rather than telling her. There are usually signs they are in one of those moods, stay away. Its hard age, I have 2 teens. As another posted said, she is taking out her emotions on you because she feels safe with you ( mine actually told me that). Listen more rather than offering advice (its hard, they need to get things off their chest. As my other told me, eventually it passes :)
Yes, we went through this phase 11-12 and it's incredibly hard. First, you have to remember it really is not personal. You are the closest person so they save the best and worst for you. My goal was to try to go through this period with my dignity damaged as little as possible, meaning do not get into battles, you just can't win. Ignore as much as you can, enforce limits, call out maybe 10% of the time. Have you read Untangled and Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall. They are both very good. At 13, we have hit a temporary sweet period when DD is much more pleasant, even she pointed it out. I am waiting for the next wave.
talk to her about what she's doing and why. my guess is she's sad and frustrated and taking it out on you(kind of like tantruming toddlers). that last part isn't cool but if she feels that you accept her bad feelings and are willing to help her with them, it could reduce the rudeness.
unfortunately kind of normal given her age, desire for independence, and adding in the constraints of the pandemic/lockdown. its not easy but try to remember most of it isn't really about you.