s/o from post below on surviving the winter. DH and I make an income that would be amazing anywhere else in the country, but just edges us into UMC in NYC. I don't normally want for more. We have a small but decent apartment, our kids attend good public schools, we eat out once a week (you know, back when you could eat out), owning a car isn't in our budget but we can rent as necessary.
For whatever reason, all my close friends are in the upper-UMC to UC range. They take amazing vacations and they all have cars and country homes and most of their kids are in private school. Again, it normally doesn't bother me. I can listen to them talk about their awesome vacation to Italy and hey, that's great, glad you enjoyed it. But since Covid...the differences between their lives and mine right now are so stark. They talk about their country homes and private schools while I grit my teeth. They're renting ski-in-ski-out houses for the winter while we are looking at months of being cooped up in our tiny space. And all their finance jobs seem completely secure (bonuses will be higher this year, yay!) while DH and I are frantically worried about upcoming layoffs. I'm trying not to be a jealous, but it's really hard.
Thoughts? Wisdom?
If knowing you have a twin out there in NYC comforts you in any way, take solace. I wish more than I ever have before that we had more financial cushion. I feel like our place is swallowing us whole, since everyone is here ALL.THE.TIME. Meanwhile, my friends are either whimsically buying the condo next door to combine the two spaces, escaping to their vacation homes or just buying a new place. It’s the pits for sure - though I try ( but fail) to remind myself how lucky we truly are.
Me 3
Thanks @ Anonymous . It actually does help to know others are in the same situation!
I mean, you could just not be so materialistic.
Go to museums, go to the parks. Get a good coat and yes, you can go in winter.
You know what was awesome today? The Cloisters and Ft. Tryon Park. Absolutely wonderful.
We probably make half what you make, but we enjoy ourselves. We found ways to do that even in March and April. It’s not impossible.
we are not as rich as the friends you describe but our kids are in private in person and we bought a second house and I feel like it's uncomfortable now to talk to my friends who don't have those things and I wonder if they are hating on us behind our backs which your post proves probably yes
I doubt they are hating on you personally, it’s just the situation itself. Feels like everyone has more, even though it’s not really true
ditto. I haven't told half my friends or co-workers that I'm about to close on a lake house. Feel like I have survivors guilt as the pandemic hasn't messed with my family too much.
Look they are going to find out. I can't sit here and justify why we have more than some of our friends, and plenty of our friends have far more than we do. My MO is to take care of my family and we made a decision that this is best for the kids. never considered this before Covid. I resent people who can't be happy for us ans just wallow in their misery. Life is unfair. Tomorrow it could be me. I'm jealous of plenty of people, but I also want to enjoy our purchase without feeling i owe people a show of guilt.
Second homes can be 200k or they can be limitless... not everyone with a second home has a multi million dollar place...but I do feel
you!
This
Life is not fair. And there are millions in this city who envy you and your family.
Of course. There are people starving, etc etc etc.
Never compare your inside to someone else's outside. That's the first thing. The second thing is that finance jobs are in no way secure. Firms have been quietly laying people off since the summer, and it will be open season in 2021. Finally, you will be so much happier and content if you live YOUR best life rather than vicariously living someone else's best life. I'm sure you'll find our own life is good and wonderful enough if you let it be and begin to appreciate it.