Has anyone read the book ? I just finished it as part of Women's History Month at work and thought it was very interesting. Curious to hear from others if they agree /disagree with some of the points in the book.
For those who haven't read it, below are some high-level points mentioned in the book.
Women tend to hold themselves back from going as far as their talent suggests because they underestimate their skills relative to men. This despite stats showing that women today are better educated, control household finances, have better soft skills etc.
There seems to be a confidence gap in women relative to men – this is one reason holding women back despite equal skills and talents. E.g. Men push for promotion with 60% skill-level while women also else equal will go for it only when 100% skill-level
Another example in the book was that men tend to say they performed better on a scientific quiz than women even though in the end both perform on average the same
Another example - men say they deserve more pay while women tend to say they deserve less pay (gap is $16K)
Womens’ perception of their skills is lower than mens’ of their skills despite women having equal or better skills
Confidence vs. competence as drivers of success: e.g. the book mentioned that students who ticked most fakes in a quiz ended up with highest “status” at the end of the academic year; when it comes to success, confidence matters as much if not more then competence; girls tend to strive to be “perfect” i.e. strive for competence but the lower confidence is detrimental
Reason for Confidence Gap: many reasons but can be addressed individually and collectively; more action you take more confidence you get, overcoming hurdles, mastering things etc.
Study: Women skipped questions more often than men on a spatial awareness test; when the same test was retaken with test takers not allowed to skip, results were that women did better than men; reason why women skipped was because they didn’t want to risk getting an answer wrong (i.e. didn’t want to fail but wanted to be perfect)
Girls ages 8-14 lose 1/3rd of confidence because fear of failure
Key Message: Act more; take more risks; ok to fail; perfection is impossible standard; let go and it will make you more free
Think Less: Women have tendency to ruminate and over think things; teenage girls have it worse (tend to catastrophize; over exaggerate downside); confidence killer; same performance review is perceived differently by women (focus on “I need to do this better”) and men (“I did these things well”)
Be Authentic: Hard to be confident by being someone you are not i.e. don't need to “copy men”; women bring so much to the table anyways so don't need to copy but rather need to be authentic
Self-compassion: treat yourself as you would treat your best friend; also put yourself in context of humanity (helps in dealing with failure)