Does your tween eat relatively healthy? I am struggling with my 12 yo overeating. I’m not sure how to help her and sometimes lose my patience with her. I’m always reminding her how diabetes runs in our family so she has to watch her sugar intake and limit desserts to once a week. Or how she should have more protein and less carbs for dinner because it will keep her fuller longer. How does everyone else deal with this? TIA.
I have a just turned 13 year old dd. It's a tough subject especially during the pandemic when kids aren't as active. Our motto is everything in moderation. I wouldn't harp on it all the time (not sure if you are but I can't tell by the post). This is just going to turn into negative body issues. Make sure there are healthy foods in the house for snacks, meal times, etc. Also, we don't make any food "forbidden." Not sure this is helpful - sorry!
Op: yes this is helpful. We don’t make food forbidden either but my dd wants to eat dessert every day even immediately after a big dinner. I don’t want to give her weight issues but I also want her to understand that she needs to have a good balance. For example, today I told her - I’m having a small bowl of chips because I was in the mood for chips. Because I was in the mood for chips, I intentionally had less carbs for dinner. I want her to learn these things but she gets upset with me. Today we had a big argument because she was making Mac n cheese for lunch and I told her she shouldn’t put so much butter. She gave me an attitude and I lost my cool and talked about her weight (which I immediately regretted and apologized for). But weight has always been a tough subject and it’s getting even harder with the pandemic. Thanks for your comments.
You're welcome and I really can relate. My daughter will have the extra challenge of being short. She will be lucky if she makes it to 5'3. I feel like at this age, everything turns into an argument with my dd. It's exhausting. She hasn't been doing any type of exercise either. SO frustrating. Luckily, her sleep away camp did open for 4 weeks and she is there now. Hopefully, she will come back without the attitude. lol!
Do not buy pasta / M&C etc... ever ! These items should never be in your pantry (except during lockdown). In my home, I use only 4 potatoes a week for a family of 4, bc I use them to prepare daily soup (carottes/leeks/onions/celery/ccabbage/potato).
Lunch is always the following combo : meat or chicken or eggs or fish, veggies, no sugar full fat dairy, fruits. Diner is always soup + light protein + dairy + fruits. When snacking, it's always whole bread + cheese + fruits. Kids may have peanut butter toasts or biscuits. Pizzas /fries /pasta/crisps are eaten when going to birthday parties. I give small candies to the kids when meals are eaten fully.
Exercise is also really helpful for controlling blood sugar and insulin signaling.
Op: she doesn’t want to exercise. Says she doesn’t like it and prefers sports. We can’t do sports now due to pandemic.
Let her go out and be active with friends. Also please don’t snip at her about her weight or try to limit her to something unreasonable like 1 treat a week. I eat about as healthy & balanced as humanly possible and I even need chocolate every couple days, (which is now shown to be healthy anyway). You will give her an eating disorder with this behavior. My mother did the same to me, I developed severe anorexia followed by binge eating and it took me YEARS to learn how to eat normally and not have huge emotional issues around it.
I'm French, and I have no issues with the fat talk, but I have no issues around food either, i.e there's no "emotional eating", or "special treats" in our home. DD eats without guilt whatever she fancies outside the 3 main meals/day, and when she puts on weight and starts to be pudgy, I just tell her to reduce the crap eating for a while, so she doesn't get fat.
But to answer your question, bc what I said was not helpful in your situation : go cold turkey, make all the meals yourself, (=she doesn't get to choose), do not buy anything sugary or junk for a while, even if you want to eat that. Increase the protein intake, lower the carbs, don't bother about the fat. I noticed that it always takes 3 days to get over sugar/carbs cravings, so the difficult part is to last 4 days. Do not limit fruits and full fat yoghurts. Do not consume splenda or similar. The only sugars you get come from fruits.
Stop the talk about "1 treat allowed/week".
This has been my exact take - I have an 11 year old and puberty snuck up on her - she now has boobs (almost a b cup!) and hair down there - and her body is changing like mad right now but I'm noticing she has a small belly - I can't tell if she is putting on pandemic weight or pre-puberty growth/awkward weight (this puberty weight gain happened to me and my sister then we shot up and it eventually went away). I never limit sweets - my take has always been eat food first then you can have your sweets. It worked until now- as her body is changing - I'm going to try and go the eat less crap routine. I hope it sinks in. This is a very tough topic - especially among (dare I say?) white upper middle class women. I'm deathly afraid of my children getting eating disorders.
"If sugar had been discovered ten years ago instead of in antiquity, it would be a felony offense to possess it. Cocaine's pretty damn unhealthy, but at least it isn't half of our children's diet..."
For 10 yo DD, I have just railed against sugar her whole life. If she wants a dessert I ask her whether she's had healthy food throughout the day. I am not sure if it will work as she gets more independent. Fingers crossed.
Dessert once a week? I eat dessert almost every night and I am a healthy weight. It’s all about moderation. I also eat very light through the day because I know i would rather snack and indulge after dinner. I wouldn’t make anything forbidden. It’s more about total food consumed over the day. Sorry, I know that’s not all that helpful but if someone told me I could only have dessert once a week, all I would crave would sweets.
Ita. Also, she’s about to be a teen and she will be out of the house more. You don’t want her to make a beeline to starbucks for a frappucino every time she leaves house because she knows she can’t have sweets at home.
I would work with dd and come up with lower calorie/healthy dessert options. maybe look on skinnytaste?
Don’t buy any of it. My son is 12 and I can’t get over how overweight some of these kids are, it’s terrible.
my 12 yo is skinny but younger one has a weight gain tendency. I have made both of them exercise during this pandemic. And I always talk about different foods and how it affects us. I have talked about weight gain but in terms of health, not in terms of appearance. we have obesity in our family and i talk about it
Wow sounds tough. Re "dessert after huge dinner" -- for a long time we did dessert in the middle of dinner -- eat your vegetables, then you can have dessert, then continue to eat. Also "listen to your belly" is a huge refrain in our house. We don't forbid anything, just emphasize listening to when you are actually hungry, eating majority healthy foods, and thinking about long term health.