I have a kid that's really into baseball. He had a game today and played poorly. He's been depressed all day long. What do you usually say to your kid in this circumstance? I don't want this one bad performance to affect his love of the game and/or his performance in the next game.
You can say that everyone has off days. What areas can he work on? It's ok to be bummed out for a little while, but then he needs to shake it off. A positive attitude is really important. Another approach is to ask him what he would tell a teammate who had a bad game.
OP -- I agree. I'm trying to foster a positive attitude and not let this drag him down. I like the approach of asking him what he would tell a teammate. Thanks!
Have him read about great sports figures like Michael Jordan, who said the reason he's so good is that he failed so many times. What can ds learn from this? Take the day to be sad and then rewind the tape. Look at what he did, assess his performance, and use it to do better next time. That's the name of the game. It's not falling down, it's getting back up and at it.
To me, this is one of the most valuable lessons from sports. You can’t dwell. You learn from your mistakes and focus on what you *can* control which is how you respond and move forward. I used to remind DD that if an Olympic gymnast allowed herself to get rattled or distracted after falling off the balance beam mid-routine or not sticking the landing, she wouldn‘t be able to finish her routine or focus on the next event. This mental discipline is a great skill so talk to him about the value of focusing on the present and learning when he doesn’t play his best. And remind him that it happens to everyone, even the best athletes. what separates the good ones from the great ones is their ability to focus on the next move, the next play, the next game.
How old is he? My son got better at shaking off bad games as he got older - until about age 9 it was DRAMA if he had a bad game. The best advice we ever got was to not discuss the game immediately afterwards, that just increases the wallow factor. Instead tell them how much you loved watching them play, give a hug, and then go get a snack/meal. We let DS set the tone and most times he doesn't even want to talk about it. If it's a really bad game now he might ask for a hug and then some time alone. If you play sports you have to learn to lose. Let him be bummed about it, offer a hug and a day or so later ask if he's ok and if there's anything he wants to work on. Sometimes a simple, "hey should we go take some bp so you're ready to get back out there?" is all you need. Don't overthink it.