Anyone else finding it hard to get back into a social groove ? I’ve had a hard time truly finding my close friends in our city/early years of our kids life….but I did a good
job of keeping somewhat social in groups or nice casual friendships—this greatly diminished during early phases of Covid and other transitions (we switched our kids school etc)…and now you find myself pretty isolated —kids are in 4th and 7th grade so it’s not really a time parents are looking to add new friends. I work part time in a freelance/solo capaciTy…
Why did you stop for so long? Maybe they didn’t…
@Anonymous inertia…tough to say but realizing I was the one reaching out. Other things (eg book club) just seemed to have stopped
My experience has been that you have to go above and beyond to organize social things right now. There are fewer casual opportunities to socialize, so you have to make more of an effort (inviting people over, throwing parties, inviting people out to drinks/dinner). But if make the effort, people really appreciate it and join in. So don't see it as a negative if you're always the one organizing - just consider it a sign of your proactive can-do approach to getting people out of their ruts.
I'm so tired of being the cruise director. Can't someone else invite us out instead
In the same boat. Realized that some close friendships, if not, many were one-sided. As soon as I stopped making an effort, we stopped seeing/talking to each other. I'm feeling pretty isolated these days - we also switched schools during the pandemic and my kids are younger. Every family we were friendly with before through school moved away. Entering middle-aged and feeling unmoored TBH.
@Anonymous You really can't rely on other people to proactively facilitate your happiness (and I say this respectfully and as someone who has come to learn this myself as an adult). If you want to see someone, invite them out! Who cares if they reciprocate next time. If they want to see you, they'll come when you invite them, and if they don't want to see you, they'll decline. But don't over-interpret the reason they're not inviting you out - maybe they're frazzled with work and kids, maybe they're insecure and worried you'll say no if they invite you, maybe they're lazy/depressed/unmotivated - whatever the reason has nothing to do with whether they want to be your friend or not. If you want to hang with them, invite them!
@anonymous i agree with this completely. if you have found people you like and who like you back just go for it, don't get hung up on who is doing the inviting. or maybe your friend(s) would be happy with a standing weekly or monthly event which is easier in a lot of ways. I have weekly coffee with one friend and monthly breakfast with another, its in the calendar, we know its happening and we don't have to think about it. and nobody is hosting which also makes things easier.
@Anon I would do anything to know I had a friend to have coffee with every week. I am so lonely.
You're not the only one. I am, and part of it is that I am so burnt out after working through the pandemic while my kids were in remote school...It'd be nice to get back out there socially but figuring out how to rebuild those bridges and reach out again and figuring out new Covid safe rules seems overwhelming. I wouldn't hold it against people for not reaching out if you want to reach out -- a lot of people are just tired and would jump at the opportunity if others organize.