I just started a new job, and learned that one of the senior people who is an unmarried, overweight, childless woman, told The bosses that a working mom who was picking her kids up from daycare during the virtual work day, did not clock out during that time. I am so upset by this, it has really rubbed me wrong way. I am older and kind of above this stuff, but it really put me out and has clouded my feelings about everything.
I am leaving a job where this kind of snitching is encouraged/required by the Bosses. It makes for a toxic work atmosphere and there are few redeeming aspects of this job.
What does the fact that she is overweight, childless, and unmarried have to do with it? Sounds like you might just fit right in . . .
Hmm sounds like you would
@Anonymous By pointing out your hypocrisy over pettiness? I don't think so.
NP it did rub me the wrong way as well. The childless part might make some sense, as that person might not understand the mom's headspace. But unmarried and overweight seem irrelevant.
I would bet her reputation precedes her, and I would steer clear and keep your head down and work hard in your own lane.
Yes I intend to thank you
BTDT. It’s very hard working with and for people who do not have kids / not married They have no clue how hard it is, nor do they care.
The operative phrase is: they do not care.
This whole thread is interesting and highlights how the lack of worker protections throughout the pandemic. In my company, this would never be an issue. Any caregiver (to children, parents, etc) is given a pass during the pandemic. Everyone is treated as an adult and is responsible for completing their work. If this were a problem for a manager, the manager would be the one with the HR issue, not emploYee. Finance. I feel super lucky.
There are jobs and there are careers. There are workers and there are professionals. Those are the types of divisions our society has created. Someone who has to "clock in" is treated like a worker. You - with flexibility to do what's needed when needed as long as you ultimately meet your objectives - are treated like a professional. And those differences have rarely been more stark than they are during this pandemic when some people literally had to risk their lives because they were considered workers and not professionals.
Op here - the person who is a snitch is a ”professional” though her title seems misleading given her behavior. And the person she snitched on is support staff. I feel so terrible about it. I can’t shake it. I was really liking my new job and this woman has done a few things re me that I felt were unnecessary, but I put it aside, and then I learned this and I realize it’s a terrible pattern and unfortunately is appreciated by the higher ups.
This is exactly my point. Workers are not given leeway. If you care enough you can speak up on behalf of the worker. That’s the solution vs complaining about the reporter, who is not really the problem.
Hmm happy for you, but you seem super smug
yeah you really seem 'above this stuff'. The fact that you can't imagine a reason why the mom's choices might legitimately impact her coworkers and necessitate a conversation about her schedule suggests to me that you are prejudiced against the senior woman- for reasons that are pretty obvious.
Wrong - the support staff that was snitched on didn’t even know she was doing something wrong , she told the woman I’m sorry I’ll get right back to this when I get back home, im
picking my son up from daycare. her work was not suffering, the issue was that she didn’t clock out during this time. The senior woman told hr to make sure that she had clocked out. It’s really petty and mean spirited and as a working mom, my kids are older now, so its a lot easier, I felt very badly. I am above this stuff. I would never do that to someone. It’s bad form.
you really don’t know what you don’t know. It may be that the staff person has other shortcomings in her job performance that are more subjective (eg, attention to detail, efficiency, etc), which the senior woman has been dealing with for a long time with no change in performance so it really chapped her hide when the staff person on top of everything else took off from work without notice or permission. That she is in a job that requires clocking in and out and she not only didn’t do it but feels entitled to bad mouth the boss for expecting her to (and in a WFH home situation there isn’t even the excuse of casual in the moment venting to the person seated next to her), reflects very poorly on her not boss.
Eh wrong again. The support staff didn’t even know that she was reported, she didn’t know she did anything wrong. The senior person told one of the bosses who relayed it to me. I defended her as a hard worker and a working mom, something that I have a soft spot for. Why you immediately dismiss the support staff without having any of the facts speaks volumes about you.
HOT TAKE: The big problem here is the management of your company. Clocking in and out is prehistoric in nature, not being flexible in a fucking pandemic is shitty management, and telling you WHO gave negative feedback and why is downright unprofessional. What SHOULD have happened is the woman said the thing and the company thought - hey we really suck during this moment and need to better support our employees. Actually sheila (or whatever her name is), we fully support this person needing to balance childcare during covid and all our employees and will be addressing this company wide and suggesting how we as a corporation can do better. Also OP - the fact that she is overweight and childless isn't relevant to the issue. It just isn't. Another phrase you could supplement for 'political correctness' is just 'don't be an asshole'. It's a judgement you are making about her and my guess is your inner feelings are not unapparent at your workplace and she probably thinks you are kind of a b*tch. Doesn't mean she or the company have a right to make you feel shitty about trying to keep another human alive.
Thanks for your hot take - and I agree with most of what you say, except I work in a satellite office and have little to do with the day to day office dealings other than via email or conference calls. poin being, I don’t have much to do with this senior person. I have met her in real life on only one occasion. She has threw me under the bus a few times on company wide emails and I’ve blown it off, but her doing this to a support person confirmed what I suspected. And maybe her weight and lack of marriage and children don’t make her unhappy, but maybe they do?
@Anonymous you'll never know the answer to that and it doesn't matter. What matters is how your company handles this issue. You should talk to HR and say a. what is the company recommendation as regards how to handle childcare responsibilities during a pandemic? b. I have a problematic relationship with this person where I feel undermined and would like to work on resolution. If the answer to those qs is we dont care about your issues then you may need to consider looking for another role
So, this post has really veered off topic. I don’t have to go to hr to deal with the support staff or the senior person. Neither really effect me personally or professionally, it was a simple observation of someone who seems miserable snitching on someone who seems vulnerable. That is all.
If you think something inappropriate is happening, speak up. Isn’t that the lesson of the past year? Don’t just stand there. Say something.
As I explained, when the story was repeated to me, I said, I feel badly, I have a soft spot for working moms, I am one. When I look back to the years when my kids were young, I am in awe of myself, I don’t know how I did it. It’s not easy. And the higher up agreed and said he doesn’t know how working moms do it. what wlse should I do? Change corporate policy? I have been employed here for 3 months.
So why are you saying management is horrible? Sounds like the guy agreed with you. Or maybe he thinks it’s possible to be sympathetic and also want people to follow the rules. nothing more to do, but it doesn’t sound like this gives a basis to rethink everything.