I've been dating a woman fairly seriously for the last six months. We are both 50-51, both divorced, kids, etc.
She recently told me she has plans to go with a friend (a friend who is a girl) to Florida in a couple of weeks for a week.
I'm trying to figure out what to do.
To start, I'm COVID-responsible but not fully locked away myself. I haven't been to indoor restaurants--gone a couple of times outdoors. I've hung with a very small circle of friends outside a few times around a fire pit drinking win. (I'm talking three people at distances over 10 feet outside, once or three times.) I broke my plans to see family for the holidays. I wanted to go away too. I wanted to see people and ski. Burt I stayed home.
Mostly, I hang in a "pod" with her and my kids when I have them. I wear a mask while out. Work from home. And so on.
GF has made it clear she intends to go on the trip. I don't think I could stop her if I tried or wanted to. And, that isn't me.
She says her friend feels locked away (she's single) and isolated and wants to get away to the sun and beach. I do see and hear that the friend is driving this train. That said, to be clear, my gf owns the decision too. She isn't just doing a good deed. She has made it clear she wants to go too...
My GF has a sense that it's not the most responsible move because the other night she tried to justify it to me. "We are just going to the house and will stay there. We won't go out, except maybe to buy food. We are being careful about what airline we fly and what airport we use."
As for me, I have been careful not to express an opinion on the trip so far. I have certainly NOT told her she shouldn't go. In fact, when she was justifying it, I simply said, it's not mine to judge.
My sense is Florida is in a good bit worse shape than the DMV. It already has the new strain. It's testing is BS because of the Gov. They skipped reporting data for the holidays, for example. She isn't going to Miami, but still. She has to take an uber or taxi. he has to fly and go through an airport in a region with at least 20 percent more cases and growing.
What do I do? I'm not in a place where I want to be making ultimatums or breaking up. I don't want this to screw up a relationship I otherwise very much want. Telling her she can't feels like a lose-lose-lose certainty.
That said...what do I do?
Assuming she goes, do I insist she quarantine after--five days after the gets back, AND get tested before we see each other? So her five day trip now comes two weeks?
At some point after the trip do I tell her my feelings around it? Emphasis on after so it takes the whole controlling piece off the table....I didn't tell you not to go but....
I'm seeking actual advice...please avoid the over the top screeds, thanks!