Has anyone else noticed in their journey that private seems to focus on fostering a sense of network, teamwork, peer reliance, etc., whereas public schools seem to foster competition, tracking, etc. with next to no focus on the priorities instilled by privates. It's not that privates don't do those things, but competition between them doesn't seem to be end all be all in the way that it does in certain publics.
some of the teachers at our public MS are outright mean and hostile. They hurt kids grades on purpose even if they know the kids are applying out. I am so over this disgusting public school system - I can’t speak for the entire country but certainly that’s the case in my state. The teachers and admin are really the worst. I can’t really blame them because they each have 200 or more students, they have incredible working hours and make very little - then again, they chose this job, no one forced them. Trying my best for private but the teachers just gave completely uncalled for grades at the last moment and shouldn’t have done it.
Terrible. Sometimes it seems that they are accountable to no one. Sorry to hear. Best of luck getting into a better school.
They truly aren’t accountable. They’re unionized and couldn’t care less. The principal told me last spring that she can’t make the teachers teach remotely, since they don’t report to her/or listen to her.
Vermont mom with young kids in public — haven’t seen or heard of this.
I don’t think young kids are made to compete relentlessly, this would probably just affect MS and HS.
If you have a public school with tracks, it's there.
My experience is that private school kids are super polite to adults and vicious to one another as soon as they think grown ups aren't looking. Public school kids are rude to everyone. Perhaps that reflects your belief private schools teach the soft skills better, in that it is a performative behavior done for adults much like test prep is in public school.
Interesting perspective. I had not thought of it that way (the performative aspect).
Good grief. Where have you lived where public school kids are rude to everyone?
@Anonymous I have heard this complaint many times in NYC.
Please tell me where your kids are going to public school? These responses are so outrageous. I'm a NYC public school parent and these comparisons are off base in my opinion.
In a different state. It might be different in NY, where teachers are better paid. Here, teachers make about 1/2 of NYC teachers and they have 200 students. It’s crazy. I’m so over this BS.
I think it’s great to instill a love of learning and learning that lasts etc. But teaching them the world is competitive is not a bad thing. There is a reason why they are sometimes scrappier and often more resilient.
What a bunch of bullshit shit stirring this post is
Hmmm. If there were truly no difference, the top posts right now wouldn't be about this exact issue plus getting into private, etc.
DC is in college and said that she thinks her private school education has made a big difference in her level of preparation. She also said that she contributes more in class than many kids, something she also attributes to being at a private school with small classes where you were expected to contribute, build on a classmate's idea (or challenge it), go to office hours, etc. On a recent group assignment, there was a student not pulling her weight and DD called her out. She again attributed this to her private school experience in which she was used to being held accountable for pulling her weight in a group project because everyone wants high grades and no one likes a slacker. As for confidence, rudeness, etc., I didn't find her peers to be rude, but I did think they had the confidence that comes from a lifetime of privilege and seeing their parents assert themselves. I think this kind of confidence tends to be looked upon more favorably in adults than children, so I can see why people don't like it. But in general, the kids in our private were well behaved, smart and hard working. If I had any complaints, it was more that some were so focused on academics that they seemed socially immature.
You know what I think much of this behavior comes from? Students in private being treated as equals to adults. Adults speaking to them respectfully and treating their ideas respectfully the same way they would another adult. That doesn't seem to be the approach in public school, so the behavioral outcomes and understandings are different.
Thank you for sharing your dd's experience btw. Interesting to hear this.
@Anonymous I'm the OR and I'm inclined to agree. I think the parenting style of most families and the educational style at the school reinforce the idea that what kids say and think is important and respected. Even if parents and teachers don't act on it, they aren't generally dismissive. That said, I knew some parents who took it too far and you wondered if the tail was wagging the dog in their households, but those were the exceptions (and those kids usually got taken down a peg or two by the teachers). I think most kids from her K-12 are going into the world believing that they have a voice and know how to use it responsibly and judiciously. To be clear, though, I know some fabulous public school kids so I don't think your child is doomed if they don't go to private school. But I agree that it's a different environment.
@Anonymous ITA with you.