I know everyone here is gunning for their kid to be the brightest. But I’m concerned mine just isn’t. She is so opposite me. She’s beautiful, graceful, makes friends easily ... but she’s not terribly bright or tough enough to stick up for herself. As she approaches teen years I’m worried about her sexual health (giving in to boys) and her emotional well being overall. Fwiw she does have some learning delays. Wwyd, I want to be supportive but am also frustrated and don’t want her to be taken advantage of or be reliant on her looks and other people to get what she wants / needs.
I see several issues that you raised: (1) intelligence, (2) ability to stick up for oneself, (3) relying on looks. I don't really see how intelligence feeds into the second two issues. She seems that she has a lot going for her besides intelligence, so lack of intelligence is not really going to translate into poor sexual health. If she is able to make friends easily, it seems that she has good social IQ.
In short it looks like you are overlooking her strong qualities. Just because she is not strong in the ways you are, doesn't mean they are not there.
She’s capable but not motivated and gives up easily. a lot of drama and works herself into a frenzy. She’s extremely kind and sensitive and (in my opinion) strikingly beautiful, gentle, and appealing. So she gets her way a LOT. shes lacking grit.
I get it. My DD also lacks Grit, but then I realize that I'm probably really hard on her because Grit is probably something that comes with maturity, and she's still young. I try to keep emphasizing failure / effort over (immidate) results.
Do you think she is less intelligent academically or socially? It sounds like she makes friends easily...do yo think her friends are taking advantage of her now? Do you see any red flags? Or are you worried about the increase in academic rigor?
Just a random side note. Maybe in this new world, we don't flame? I mean, I haven't seen any flaming and people have somewhat distinguishable IDs. Perhaps it's a whole new world order. :)
I agree! It seems like everyone here is being civilized and nice. Maybe having (potentially) distinguishable IDs is making it a nicer place (while still preserving the sass and wit that is hallmark of this crowd). :)
@Anonymous someone called me salty the other day here! I was like what are you doing?!? haha
Unfortunately I see she is drawn to mean girls who are not nice to her. She wants to imitate them and ignores the nicer girls. school wise she is bright but unmotivated and nowhere near NYC metrics of brightness
You sound like a nerd.
You sound like a b***h. Why are you even here on this site?
I would say she has a lot going for her. Just show her not to take any shit from others, whether it be boys or mean girls. If you instill in her a strong level of confidence and independence then she won't look for other's approval.
How old is she? Sounds like she's about 12, which means she will grow and change a lot in the next few years. More important than raw intelligence is the willingness to work hard and be a good person. I'd focus on that.
We have our first nasty responder!
She does that too. Her BFF is exactly the girl you describe - left out, kind and generous. It's not one or the other- she craves validation from "popular" powerful Kids. now I am worried about school starting and her being lonely and vulnerable . Camp was a nice Re-direction of her energies.
And by the way, I don't think everyone on here is gunning for their kid to be the brightest. I know my DC isn't, and it's OK!