I know three parents choosing virtual school for their kids so they can extend their stay at their country homes, where they have been sequestered since March. None of these folks are particularly high-risk; they told me they "love the green space" or it's "better for the kids to be out of the city." I understood this in the spring when NYC seemed so dangerous (and was envious that they had somewhere to go). Now I don't get it. If you don't like living in NYC and/or don't want to raise your kids here, why are you paying $$$$ for a big apartment here? Why not just move permanently to the burbs? Help me understand the thinking.
I think it's the uncertainty of what's next. Will the school year start just for them to go back?
Totally. We will give blended learning a shot but I doubt that we will be in school for more than 2 weeks before everything is shut down again. We keep our country place open year round but for people who are far away or who transport basically their entire life it will be such a pain to go back and forth multiple times. I know a few people who are having their parents stay with them in the country but they absolutely don't have enough space for that in the city. In the end we should all be thankful for each person who chooses remote learning because they make it more likely that our kids can get back in the classroom this fall.
Hard to understand if you don't see things the same way...I live on the UES/UWS and this fall - maybe as long as DeBlasio remains in office - I would be scared to let my tween children walk around our neighborhood. The UWS is a nightmare of beggars, homeless, vagrants, and now formerly reputable hotels housing sex offenders and drug addicts. It is just a matter of time before one of them commits a serious offense; perhaps we already have and the media is not reporting on it. Do you have the CITIZEN app? If not, sign up for it for one day. If you don't want it tracing you, then use a burner phone or an old iPad. It is shocking. As for why not sell a big apartment in NYC now - have you looked at prices lately? Not an optimal time. Many of us are counting on the city to begin to heal if a new mayor is elected in 2021, or Cuomo decides to defang this one as is his prerogative if DeBlasio's malfeasance meets the statutory trigger. With the nursing homes and public housing slaughters in the city he definitely has an argument especially since he likes to shift responsibility.
So your plan is to stay at your country place while paying for a giant empty apartment... for what, two more years until the city "heals"?
@anonymous And then move, if another Democrat is elected.
@anonymous If they can afford the option, what’s the problem?
The ironic thing is that I believe a part of the increased crime is because there are less people around. (I've posted about this before). I live in a lower income area in NYC where people never left. It's doing fine.
I am at my country house right now and we are debating whether to come back in for in person learning. My kids are at a school on the UWS and I would have to walk them to and from school. I am not convinced that school will stay in session for long and I am concerned about the crime rate in NYC. We do have a lot of space in the country and very little in NYC. There will not be any after school activities and no play dates. We will be in our apartment most of the time. We are not moving to 'the burbs' because we are not going to make such a big life decision during a pandemic. Also, our work is NYC based. We are fortunate enough to be able to go remote for now but that will not be forever and we must be in the city. I think everyone has different situations and different reasoning. It is not yours to understand, just try not to judge.
This is our reasoning exactly. Work ans schools we like are in the city, but for now, life at our beach house where we have been since March is a lot more pleasant.
Things are very up in the air and unclear. NYC is nice now, but I think we’re going to get hit badly again, and I’d much rather be in a bigger house when it does. NYC may be nice now, but they may still prefer to be spreading out in their second home because they can’t have two parents working Zoom calls with screaming children in a cramped apt. And people had to pay $$$ to live in NYC because that’s where jobs are based. But if they don’t have to go into the office, why stay? They’re staying where it’s more comfortable. We don’t even have a second home but we fled to a rental in March and have been here since. And the kids will be doing remote school. Some people have made the permanent decision to move, but many have not, and that’s fine.
It seems confusing I agree, but I get it. We are at our country house these days (though we went back to the city for the past few days as the power was out in our country place). I think since the whole thing feels really uncertain there are a lot of people who are just choosing to stay put for a while to see how the numbers go in the fall and whether school goes ok. I'm hearing a lot of "I want to start remote to keep some consistency once the schools inevitably shut down again." Personally we are choosing to come back to the city for school (at least part of the time) but I do understand the mentality that while it's all kind of hazy AND many people are always paying for both their city and country places, they'll choose to stay in the place that feels more calm at this moment and see how it goes. Not my choice, but it does make sense to me that one might choose to go this way.
They probably can work from home and find it difficult in an apartment while kids are doing remote. Our school will bein person one day only. Most people don't even believe this will last long and all kids will be 100% remote. So it's easier to stay where you have space and easy outdoor access. Your kids can take a break and bounce outside while you still continue working.
I've been renting country house. I'm also going to move out of city rental and into country house in fall, doing remote learning. Stand to save/earn the difference in income loss from underemployment from the pandemic. It's all about staying out of debt until this is over.
I do think the situation of the people you describe is a little bit odd, and I don't know anyone like that or really understand it. For the people I know who actually own two homes and have the option of school in person, they are all coming back to the city to take advantage of school in person. Because otherwise, you are supervising remote school which most people agree is an unhealthy amount of screen time for young kids. The people I see who are staying out of the city are the following: (1) people who don't actually have two homes -- they gave up a rental in the city so now they only have one place and are saving money not paying city rent. To come back means a new lease and move, which is expensive and not worth it to people especially if they think school in person will be short lived; (2) similarly, people who are renting a second home and don't want to give up that rental in case school quickly goes online; and (3) people who only have a remote option or a very limited in person option combined with a very small city apartment, so they would rather have a larger space if everyone is going to be at home. If you think the green space is so important, it's weird that you choose a school option that has your kids confined to 6 hours of screen time per day.
And some of the people who posted above in this thread are in the situations I described.
But so what? Let people do what they think is best for their family situation?
@AnonymousNYmom I'm not planning to interfere in their decisions. We are just having a conversation about what could be driving those decisions because we are all in a state of having to make decisions relevant to school, work, etc. right now. And so my point is that very rarely are the people who truly have all the money and choices at their disposal going to choose to stay remote and do online school.
I think people are afraid to commit. We did just leave NY and moved South. we have the thought of, give it a year and if we don’t like it , we’ll go back. We don’t have the cash to maintain 2 homes.
The south is much worse than NYC now though. I mean it was always worse (hello, red states with terrible food :), but now covid numbers are through the roof in the south and contained in NYC.
@NYCMom Not true. Most of the sun belt has plateaued.
@Anonymous It is true. Right now, many southern states have higher numbers in total than NY. Maryland, Alabama, the Carolinas, Virginia, Tennessee, Louisiana, Florida anyone... all (way) higher numbers than NY and rest of NE.
And if you actually look at the per capita numbers for the last few weeks the score is quite abysmal for much of the South. So maybe it has "plateaued", but really, at what level?!
I'm a big planner. That is my main coping skill. But I have learned in this pandemic to just go with the flow. It's August 10. Our private starts mid September. Remote or hybrid? Who knows. That's a lifetime away. We are in a country house that we rented with a 15 minute walk to beach and we have a modest paid-off NYC apartment in a borough. The pandemic is HELL on NYC families. I do not judge anyone. What this sounds like is a lot of jealousy over those with means who then have choices. If you're mad about the homeless shelters that were once nice hotels then get on 311 and start writing letters to BDB who is a total loser (and I am a Dem). Stop judging other people's choices and figure out how to find peace for you and your family as best you can. Good luck everyone.
This! Why are people getting so worked up about “understanding” other families’ choices of where to stay?
@AnonymousNYmom OP didn't sound worked up, she sounds like she's trying to understand. You sound worked up about the hypothetical possibility that people you don't know on the internet are potentially judging you.
Laughing that you think I care what anyone thinks on an ANONYMOUS forum.
If I could sell my apt, I would leave immediately. I don’t feel safe walking in the UWS or letting my teenagers walk in the streets, as they used to. The UWS is being destroyed sadly... it’s devastating to see such a great neighborhood in the current state.
@ Anonymous Meh. I grew up in NYC in the '80s. You ain't seen nothing yet.
@anonymous How the fuck are you so passive about a neighborhood being destroyed?
@Anonymous What is it you consider "active"? Your whiny Facebook group? No one cares about that. I support the UWS because I'm HERE. Not hiding in my country home. Living here, spending my money here, walking around the OMG SO DANGEROUS streets.
We are buying a country house. I wouldn't sell the apartment in a down market. I'm not pulling my kids out of nyc private because I don't believe public school option where we are buying is a good school for them. I don't think ANY public would be as good as a private in this situation.
I am a private school mom and am disgusted that my children's school just decided to go remote until October. Forty families have left - a ton have not paid their tuition for the Fall - I believe many more will withdraw upon this news. The teachers who think they are so smart for getting to work from home will be furloughed when no one enrolls for next year.
Are you at CGPS? 40 families left out of how many? How much is enrollment down?
@Anonymous I thought CGPS was opening in person- was w a mom from there this weekend. Did that change?
we are upstate and have apt in the city - we should really rent one out but both aren't quite in the right condition. we considered staying here but the public here will only open 2 days a week and kids are used to their school. but a ton of families will stay out of the city - it's impossible to work from a small apt you are sharing with your kids. we are lucky to only be 2 hours from our house. i actually think manhattan schools will be safer than anywhere else bc they have been with this reality for longest and are trying hard.
I think people moved “for the summer” and now realize how easy things are. We decided to leave and sold our place. It’s so much easier in the burbs, and if this happens again on Sept/Oct we don‘t have to worry.
I'm staying at winter house and buying a season pass for skiing and building a shed for my art studio. I'm not taking any chances until a vaccine is found, plus I hate the work/school routine of NYC and if there is nothing to do and I have to stand in line every time I want to go to the store I'm going to go crazy. Rather be in NYC when it's 100% or it's not worth it to me. I'm currently moving out of my 6K a month apt and using my office as home address. -Single mom who calls it.
Were you able to sell your apt. In NYC?
So are people coming back after Labor Day ?!
We're coming back tomorrow night. Sports practices start Friday and I want a chance to go grocery shopping, unpack, etc beforehand. I think we'll ease back into a routine with a few days of enrichment activities. DH and I are ready to be back in the city.
Was planning on it but now that public school is “pushed back” we probably won’t for a bit. Much more space out here and kids can run around to the beach etc and be independent. I’ve got work to do and it’s easier out here for all. I’d love to have a reason to go back soon though!
We are back because my dc's schools started. So excited! The city feels actually very nice. Very different than what you read in the media.
This is not hard. The thinking is, why not? They can afford to do it so they do it. i don’t see why this is confusing to you that some people want to preserve the option to return to nyc when convenient / appropriate. And some of us are not looking at death rates alone. The fact is that this disease is highly uncertain. You have no idea if having covid as a child will have long term implications. No one could possibly know the answer to that.
Actually, it sounds like these are all people who can't afford (i) private school or (ii) a lot of space in the city, so I agree -- in that situation, why make it uncomfortable to be working and doing school for a family in a two bedroom apartment? Might as well enjoy your space in Litchfield CT.
we're in the country and have kids in private school but like the poster said above why go back to apartment in a city where you're not going into an office, where your kids may not be 5 days per week, where people are everywhere, where you don't have space for your kids to run around - when you could not? we are going back bc we feel like it's better for the kids to have some in person time but i totally get why people would not WANT to. we actively don't want to but we just are.
we are in coastal ct Fairfield county about an hour from the city