Have you read any of Esther Perel's stuff, especially The State of Affairs? She clarifies a lot of this yearning and why people cheat. Like everyone is saying, it's not about your husband, this is something in you. You may never find what you are looking for, but there is a question about whether or not it's fair to put your husband through this, even without his knowledge. You might be better off on your own, working through your own issues so that you can address the root of this sort of seeking feeling.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2017/10/why-happy-people-cheat/537882/

It's not your dh. It's you. You are the problem, and you are the only solution. You can keep trying to have someone else fill a void that's inside you, but it's like a cup with a hole in the bottom. You're always going to end up empty. Happiness is about a choice. You have a family, a history, children you've raised together. You could choose to be happy. Fix what's wrong inside you so that you can make that choice. Or leave him and then leave the next one and the next one and the next one after that. There's no joy in that path, but if that's what you choose, then best of luck, and get going so that your dh can find someone who values him. He won't have a problem with that. Plenty of young women looking for sugar daddies (whether real or perceived).

Once I can understand how that might happen. But twice?! yes you need to leave first. Was your husband aware of the first one?

You want to take this on in a pandemic? I recommend self-reflection instead. you sound like you are looking for outside validation to fill a void. Look I'm speaking from experience. It was such a waste of time. I wish I could get that time back.

So, what exactly are the values you and dh share? Loyalty? Honesty? Prioritizing family? Self-respect? Wait.