How did you know ss was or wasnt the right move ? We def limited ourselves, only looking at k-12 schools. Just wondwr what they're really.looking for in a family/student
@Anonymous I am not sure we "knew," for us top academics were top priority (we have a child who is very strong academically and this was encouraged by his preschool), we visited all TT (SS and coed) as well as 2nd "tier" school (using UB jargon), some multiple times depending on what events were available. We also spoke to at least one but often two or more families at schools that we were interested in. In the end, no one school will check every box. So you need to answer for yourself what do you expect from school and what will you provide elsewhere be it gender mix, languages, class size, sports, etc.
I went through the process several years ago. I was nuts and got sucked into all the gossip and I was honestly exhausted by February. None of it actually helped and it just made me spin (out of control at times). Thankfully Covid saved me from getting sucked in again this time around, but I'm happy to listen if you need to obsess.
I know that is disappointing. Do you love other schools on your list? Have a backup plan you’re happy with? We only applied to 4 schools, so I understand the anxiety!
It’s hard not to obsess, but just try to remember that your kid will end up at a great match for him. And that isn’t always going to be what would have been a good match for you as a kid, or even what you think as an adult. But I am sure it will be wonderful for him. Where did you apply and what is your ranking - for him?
We have a girl, but we like HM a lot too! My big hesitation is how far away it is. I'm not so much worried about her struggling with the time commuting, but I don't like that we wouldn't get to be as much a part of the community. I really like knowing the other parents and being able to see her preschool, and I feel like we'd just be so removed from everything happening if she went to one of the hill schools. But since we really want strong academics, I think that and Trinity (lol) would be our top choices. Def feel you on SS, too; I see a lot of advantages to it.
NP - We are legacy at HM, but hesitant to send both because of the community aspect and the commute. I don’t want to commute that far so it is hard for me to say that’s no big deal for a 5 year old. Also, I think it’s too hard at this age to figure if it’s the right fit for the high pressure of HM upper school.
@Anonymous if it's helpful, the HM and Riverdale buses pick up our neighbors (East 70s) at the exact same time as our bus to an UWS private. We definitely beat those kids home from school, but not by much.
Hi! I'm thrilled you started this post. It makes me smile, as it is such a reminder of how life used to be. BTDT. Obsess away. I was truly a crazy person. That said, I have all boys and am not keen on SS schools for boys given the experiences I have seen of their friends. Yuck!!! Esp Collegiate. Lord of the Flies. If any, I would go with A-S.
Oh no! Collegiate is our pick! (Op here) why don't you like it?? Were really going basis our own research we aren't from nyc and don't know anyone there ! We know people at hm that's our other favorite
@Anonymous I will give you concrete reasons for not liking SS. First of all, I am still unable to understand the value proposition for SS boys. For girls, it's about building confidence in a boys' world by being in a girls-only environment where girls have all leadership roles, etc. The point for boys seems to be that boys are slower, and even if true, that was not appealing to me. Having girls in the classroom seemed like a benefit at every age.
And second, you will find that SS people always tell you to choose a "lower school" that you like. That's because SS does feel more like an extension of preschool. 50 kids per grade, small group of tight knit families, all on the UES/UWS and the kids can go to the playground together. It's very appealing when you have a 5-year old. My advice is to speak with families who have older kids. By 3rd grade, no one is playing together in a playground anymore and the SS environment (and the fact that the schools tend to be much smaller) can be limiting and stifling. That's why you see you a lot of kids applying out; in some years, at the girls' schools, nearly 50% of the kids leave. Boys don't leave Collegiate as much but that's largely because MS and HS admission is very competitive for boys (given all the K-8 boys schools) and so they're not likely to get spots. You don't want to feel stuck when the kids get older, and it happens quickly.
Finally, if you have two kids of each sex, having them in two different schools is a pain. But if your kids are both the same sex, I think it's even more important for them to be in a co-ed environment where they are getting regular exposure to the opposite sex (not just through a school play periodically) particularly by HS.
@anonymous Good points, but for argument's sake if parents want TT, there aren't many co-ed options. Many will not want HM for K because of the commute and Dalton because it's progressive. And Trinity is all but impossible to get into for K. So even though one may want co-ed and believe it's better in the long run, they will choose SS at least initially and then switch when TT co-ed schools expand in MS/HS and/or they realize TT is not a good fit and they have many more options at that point. And even if one say chooses HM for K because they like the co-ed aspect, who knows as several have pointed out whether your kid is cut out for the academics there. Or if one chooses a less rigorous co-ed school if it will be challenging enough. Everyone has to make a best guess for K and be open to the fact that things might change along the way.
When you're applying to K there is no way you can tell if the school will be good for your child once they get to high school. Just go with your gut now and realize things may change... a good number of kids change from K-12s along the way. GL!
totally agree. my DC is at a very desired K-12, and every year a few kids leave for places that are better fits. My DC may leave too at some point. It's impossible to know what's going to be best for HS when your child is 4-5
I'm game! I need something to distract me from these assholes trying to overthrow our democracy.
We have gotten zero feedback so far and I'm curious if more schools are planning to do Zooms into the classroom this month. I think we've only had two so far and we applied to like a dozen places (thanks T&E for making that easier, haha).
My top choice is Trinity, but as we're totally unconnected, I'm not holding my breath. I also really like HM, but unsure on that commute, and Spence. Speyer is intriguing as well, but I'm not sure how I feel about such a specialized school.
In terms of ones we don't love quite as much anymore, maybe UNIS? That location is tough.
We are hoping for either collegiate or hm. Dalton we no longer like ( disappointed in how they handled reopening , and also recent press abt them). We have 0 feedback, and we understand our 2 top picks don't give feedback anyways :/
And as far as we know neither of these schools do zoom observations or at least not at our preschool
@Anonymous Did you get feedback from Dalton though? Did you get a positive feedback but you just no longer like it, but you didn't hear anything & you don't care anymore? Because my understanding is Dalton does give indications.
Trinity is always siblings and legacies, as they pretty much take them all. The year we applied I believe there were three unconnected spots or something like that. We didn’t care for it anyway, so had no dog in the hunt, but many of our preschool classmates were fighting it out for those tiny odds.
Reviving this thread -- about two weeks left. How are people feeling? I feel like there is so much going on behind the scenes, and I'm completely in the dark. Have given up on trying to read the tea leaves of positive feedback. Also saw on YBM that someone mentioned that DOAs talk to one another about candidates, and that the brokering happens at the DOA level, as well as the PSD level, which is somewhat maddening.
LOL, I just read that too. We have gotten good feedback from our SS choice (they asked if we'd come if they offered a spot). We didn't say yes just yet because we're waiting to see what our top two co-ed choices say. One, I think, is not happening and one won't give feedback (if any) until next week, so not sure how long I can hold off on SS school. I guess if PSD really needs an answer from us before we hear from those, we'll say yes? I'd be super happy with that SS school, but I'd like to make a final decision knowing what our chances are from all of our favorites.
There are also a bunch of other schools that aren't our top picks that we haven't heard anything from. But maybe that's just because PSD isn't pushing as hard for info? But would be nice to know if any of those are interested just so we have some sense if we're getting in SOMEWHERE.
We're also, I guess, waiting on Hunter results? But at this point, it would mean losing the deposit, so I don't know...
^ I saw that too abt the admissions people talking. How does that work? They call each other with lists? Are there so few kids in the running the can say the names ? I'm trying to envision
What would you like to know? We went through the process last year with a boy
How did you know ss was or wasnt the right move ? We def limited ourselves, only looking at k-12 schools. Just wondwr what they're really.looking for in a family/student
@Anonymous I am not sure we "knew," for us top academics were top priority (we have a child who is very strong academically and this was encouraged by his preschool), we visited all TT (SS and coed) as well as 2nd "tier" school (using UB jargon), some multiple times depending on what events were available. We also spoke to at least one but often two or more families at schools that we were interested in. In the end, no one school will check every box. So you need to answer for yourself what do you expect from school and what will you provide elsewhere be it gender mix, languages, class size, sports, etc.
@Anonymous NP: where did you end up? SS or co-ed? School (if you feel comfortable)?
I went through the process several years ago. I was nuts and got sucked into all the gossip and I was honestly exhausted by February. None of it actually helped and it just made me spin (out of control at times). Thankfully Covid saved me from getting sucked in again this time around, but I'm happy to listen if you need to obsess.
Thanks,,! Just disappointed we didn't even get an interview to trinity. We only have a few schools on our list. Just hope we have seen
I know that is disappointing. Do you love other schools on your list? Have a backup plan you’re happy with? We only applied to 4 schools, so I understand the anxiety!
Our backup plan is to move and just do public in westchester. We are not zoned for a good school and g&t is a crap shoot we can't count on...
It’s hard not to obsess, but just try to remember that your kid will end up at a great match for him. And that isn’t always going to be what would have been a good match for you as a kid, or even what you think as an adult. But I am sure it will be wonderful for him. Where did you apply and what is your ranking - for him?
We have a girl, but we like HM a lot too! My big hesitation is how far away it is. I'm not so much worried about her struggling with the time commuting, but I don't like that we wouldn't get to be as much a part of the community. I really like knowing the other parents and being able to see her preschool, and I feel like we'd just be so removed from everything happening if she went to one of the hill schools. But since we really want strong academics, I think that and Trinity (lol) would be our top choices. Def feel you on SS, too; I see a lot of advantages to it.
NP - We are legacy at HM, but hesitant to send both because of the community aspect and the commute. I don’t want to commute that far so it is hard for me to say that’s no big deal for a 5 year old. Also, I think it’s too hard at this age to figure if it’s the right fit for the high pressure of HM upper school.
@Anonymous Not a legacy, but in the same boat re: commute. Doesn't seem fair to shift that burden to a 5yo.
@Anonymous if it's helpful, the HM and Riverdale buses pick up our neighbors (East 70s) at the exact same time as our bus to an UWS private. We definitely beat those kids home from school, but not by much.
Hi! I'm thrilled you started this post. It makes me smile, as it is such a reminder of how life used to be. BTDT. Obsess away. I was truly a crazy person. That said, I have all boys and am not keen on SS schools for boys given the experiences I have seen of their friends. Yuck!!! Esp Collegiate. Lord of the Flies. If any, I would go with A-S.
Oh no! Collegiate is our pick! (Op here) why don't you like it?? Were really going basis our own research we aren't from nyc and don't know anyone there ! We know people at hm that's our other favorite
@Anonymous I will give you concrete reasons for not liking SS. First of all, I am still unable to understand the value proposition for SS boys. For girls, it's about building confidence in a boys' world by being in a girls-only environment where girls have all leadership roles, etc. The point for boys seems to be that boys are slower, and even if true, that was not appealing to me. Having girls in the classroom seemed like a benefit at every age.
And second, you will find that SS people always tell you to choose a "lower school" that you like. That's because SS does feel more like an extension of preschool. 50 kids per grade, small group of tight knit families, all on the UES/UWS and the kids can go to the playground together. It's very appealing when you have a 5-year old. My advice is to speak with families who have older kids. By 3rd grade, no one is playing together in a playground anymore and the SS environment (and the fact that the schools tend to be much smaller) can be limiting and stifling. That's why you see you a lot of kids applying out; in some years, at the girls' schools, nearly 50% of the kids leave. Boys don't leave Collegiate as much but that's largely because MS and HS admission is very competitive for boys (given all the K-8 boys schools) and so they're not likely to get spots. You don't want to feel stuck when the kids get older, and it happens quickly.
Finally, if you have two kids of each sex, having them in two different schools is a pain. But if your kids are both the same sex, I think it's even more important for them to be in a co-ed environment where they are getting regular exposure to the opposite sex (not just through a school play periodically) particularly by HS.
@anonymous Good points, but for argument's sake if parents want TT, there aren't many co-ed options. Many will not want HM for K because of the commute and Dalton because it's progressive. And Trinity is all but impossible to get into for K. So even though one may want co-ed and believe it's better in the long run, they will choose SS at least initially and then switch when TT co-ed schools expand in MS/HS and/or they realize TT is not a good fit and they have many more options at that point. And even if one say chooses HM for K because they like the co-ed aspect, who knows as several have pointed out whether your kid is cut out for the academics there. Or if one chooses a less rigorous co-ed school if it will be challenging enough. Everyone has to make a best guess for K and be open to the fact that things might change along the way.
When you're applying to K there is no way you can tell if the school will be good for your child once they get to high school. Just go with your gut now and realize things may change... a good number of kids change from K-12s along the way. GL!
Agreed. Find a lower school you love.
totally agree. my DC is at a very desired K-12, and every year a few kids leave for places that are better fits. My DC may leave too at some point. It's impossible to know what's going to be best for HS when your child is 4-5
I'm reviving this thread - obsess with me lol 1.montj to go
Yes let’s! What are your top picks? Any you don’t like anymore? Feedback?
I'm game! I need something to distract me from these assholes trying to overthrow our democracy.
We have gotten zero feedback so far and I'm curious if more schools are planning to do Zooms into the classroom this month. I think we've only had two so far and we applied to like a dozen places (thanks T&E for making that easier, haha).
My top choice is Trinity, but as we're totally unconnected, I'm not holding my breath. I also really like HM, but unsure on that commute, and Spence. Speyer is intriguing as well, but I'm not sure how I feel about such a specialized school.
In terms of ones we don't love quite as much anymore, maybe UNIS? That location is tough.
We are hoping for either collegiate or hm. Dalton we no longer like ( disappointed in how they handled reopening , and also recent press abt them). We have 0 feedback, and we understand our 2 top picks don't give feedback anyways :/
And as far as we know neither of these schools do zoom observations or at least not at our preschool
@Anonymous Did you get feedback from Dalton though? Did you get a positive feedback but you just no longer like it, but you didn't hear anything & you don't care anymore? Because my understanding is Dalton does give indications.
^ we didn't even get an interview at Trinity so good for you for making that first cut!!!
Ha, thanks! Just heard from PSD that it's gonna be super unlikely though. Sounds like K class is basically totally full with siblings/alum kids.
I did hear that also that it's a very heavy sib
Trinity is always siblings and legacies, as they pretty much take them all. The year we applied I believe there were three unconnected spots or something like that. We didn’t care for it anyway, so had no dog in the hunt, but many of our preschool classmates were fighting it out for those tiny odds.
Reviving this thread -- about two weeks left. How are people feeling? I feel like there is so much going on behind the scenes, and I'm completely in the dark. Have given up on trying to read the tea leaves of positive feedback. Also saw on YBM that someone mentioned that DOAs talk to one another about candidates, and that the brokering happens at the DOA level, as well as the PSD level, which is somewhat maddening.
LOL, I just read that too. We have gotten good feedback from our SS choice (they asked if we'd come if they offered a spot). We didn't say yes just yet because we're waiting to see what our top two co-ed choices say. One, I think, is not happening and one won't give feedback (if any) until next week, so not sure how long I can hold off on SS school. I guess if PSD really needs an answer from us before we hear from those, we'll say yes? I'd be super happy with that SS school, but I'd like to make a final decision knowing what our chances are from all of our favorites.
There are also a bunch of other schools that aren't our top picks that we haven't heard anything from. But maybe that's just because PSD isn't pushing as hard for info? But would be nice to know if any of those are interested just so we have some sense if we're getting in SOMEWHERE.
We're also, I guess, waiting on Hunter results? But at this point, it would mean losing the deposit, so I don't know...
Yayyy happy to obsess with you I'm going nuts waiting. Have you heard anything ?? Our psd says she won't hear anything from our schools.
^ I saw that too abt the admissions people talking. How does that work? They call each other with lists? Are there so few kids in the running the can say the names ? I'm trying to envision