My mother lives about a 20 minute drive from me and lives alone. We talk daily but she also wants me to visit a couple of times a week. I go about once every two weeks. I know the pandemic is rough on everyone but I’m still working remotely and dealing with dc at home and furloughed dh. I wish there was a way that I could convey to my mother that her constantly asking me to visit is stressing me out. Thoughts? Tia.
I don't think you have to tell her that it's stressing you out. Just make it clear that visiting every two weeks is all you can do right now. Do you have siblings or other relatives near by who can also visit her once in a while?
Op: yes, my brother also visits her occasionally. But she expects more from me it feels like.
I think it's hard to be constantly waiting for something and disappointed that it doesn't happen. You are probably trying not to disappoint her so you say maybe you'll come by but then you don't and it's worse. Better to just put a calendar together and stick to it.
Op: no, I don’t commit to going unless I’m sure I’m going to go. I usually say that I’m not sure if I can go. Other times, she’ll call and say - so what time are you coming over tomorrow ? She assumes I’m just going to go.
I am in the same boat. It is stressful. Not only does my mother not seen to understand I feel like she really doesn’t care that I am juggling work, motherhood, marriage and her. She needs a hobby or a friend. I wish eldercare was virtual ...... Stay strong. You are a good daughter.
Describing MIL (who I hate anyway) who expects my kids to be her source of joy and even more so now. I screamed bloody murder at DH for not laying down the boundaries and growing a pair. He's afraid of her.