Dh and I had a terrible argument several years ago about his drinking. I was ready to file for divorce and we separated for about 6 months. We are now back together but my mind sometimes goes back to those dark places and I remember the hell he put me through. How can I move past this? Tia.
(1) go to bed. things usually look better after rest. (2) when you wake up in the morning, draw a line in the sand and decide which side you're going to be on: the present or the past? You cannot live both places at once, so make your choice and then embrace it. Replaying horror movies is not fun at our age. Let those dark times be a chapter, not the whole book. GL.
Op: thank you
Makes sense you'd be thinking back to that and concerned you could get hurt again. Extra hugs going out to you. Worthwhile to examine how to accept those feelings and how to best manage your own health before you decide. Ultimately you can't control his behavior.
Hugs, OP. Your feelings are understandable. My biggest suggestion is therapy. It can help you process your feelings and decide what you want for yourself. Also, guided meditations for stress/anxiety, and exercise, especially getting outside dor a bit each day.
Anonomoose! Love the name!
Thanks! You're the first to notice!
The question for me is whether he has taken steps to improve the situation and if you are a good place now. You say you are back together but you don't say whether he is sober and you are happy or if you are just making the best of it because it's tolerable for now and better than being separated. If it's the latter, then your mind keeps going back to the darkest places because it's a fear you're still facing and trying to repress.
Op: he’s sober now. I sometimes still worry that he’ll fall back into old habits even though it’s been a few years.
which is understandable, and I'd also look at the facts. is he going to AA or otherwise taking steps to support staying sober, which is hard to do? is he sorry for what happened and doesn't want it to repeat? it may take more time having a good relationship for you to get your faith in it back.