Yesterday we got postive feedback from our first and second choices. Feedback for second choice ("spot for you there") was stronger than first (which was "positive, in the running -- school is still evaluating and might have more refined feedback in coming week"). Pretty sure our PSD communicated to first choice that it was our first choice. Are we screwing ourselves by not taking second choice now, and waiting on first choice? We still are three weeks out from decisions, so in theory there's time left. Anybody BTDT? What would you do?
I would talk to your PSD and see what additional feedback comes in over the next week. But if you don't get more clarity, if you would be happy with 2nd choice, and if you are fully committed to private, then I'd take the bird in the hand.
another K applicant mom here — you mean by “taking second choice now” like sending a first choice letter? are first choice letters a must with these TT schools?
Following on this! Out psd said they're a thing of the past esp for tt schools. They aren't waiting on any one applicant to accept there are 10 kids behind you of you don't. I don't know we didn't send a 1dt choice or love letter. We did send a short email with a few things we love abt the school . What have you been counseled to do ?
It depends. The letter itself may be falling out of favor, but the information is definitely important to TT. They are all focused on their yield (percentage who accept their offers), so most of the time they are not going to waste a spot on someone who has not committed. And once you do commit to your FC, and the PSD conveys that, your other TT choices will most likely pull their offers.
I’d wait out the feedback from your top choice unless you’re over it and like the second choice school enough to commit now.
you are technically not bound to whatever you say until you sign the contract. The feedback changes until the very last minute. We kept getting positive feedback (just they are interested, in the running not “you got the spot”) and ended up being WL at two TTs. I think we probably could have gotten one of them if we kept at it and offered a kidney just to seal the deal. Would have been happy with either but neither was our tippy top choice. We ended up sending first choice letter few days before the decisions were made to our first choice school even though we didn’t have a feedback (one of the schools that doesn’t provide). DC got into first choice. I don’t know if the letter made a difference.
OP: responses here are helpful, and the more I think about it, there's really nothing to be done. Even if we decided now to settle with second choice, what the hell could we do? They could say great, and then WL list us just the same because someone better showed up or board member called in a favor, or any other reason.
If you feel comfortable which schools are you looking at? Don't have to divulge which showed interest!!
I think if you've sent "love letters" to both these schools and your PSD has communicated that you'd be thrilled to attend either, you're in good shape? In our case, we have heard positive feedback from one of our top choices (but not tippy top) and so-so from our first choice and our PSD said other than sending the letters, just wait and see what happens after the schools go to committee. I guess we'll see if there's something more we end up needing to do after end of this week or next?
Which schools? Some are more reliable than others, some care about FC and some don't. I'm happy to share which from my and my friends' experiences.
T and D
Pls share which care which dont etc!! Would love to know since our last said don't bother sending a letter noone does that anymore :/
@Anonymous Some of the connected preschool PSDs get this wrong. They say that letters are not a big deal anymore, but that’s because they themselves are conveying information to the schools. For TT, one way or another, you need to convey that you do or do not intend to come. I’m sure it happens, but most people don’t go to a TT school unless they say they are coming, and don’t get an offer if the PSD has made it clear they are going elsewhere (i.e. T might love you, but if your PSD tells them you are going to D, your T accept will turn to a WL).
If the two schools are really T and D, which I doubt, they both will expect your PSD to tell them explicitly if you are coming. They will ask specifically. Those two want to know. Some do not ask or really care as much: Collegiate, HM, St. B.
That's so helpful (our 2 are c and hm)
So then are you SOL with second choice since it was communicated to the other school that it was your first? I would hope that PSDs are more savvy and know how to massage the second choice school for a bit while the first choice decides whether to give the thumbs up/down.
No. The second choice should not know that the other is your first. Your correct that a savvy PSD should let the first know that they are your FC, but only let the second know that they are top of your list. But the above poster is right: both T and D do want to know that you are coming, or else they wont waste an offer.
C as in Collegiate or C as in Chapin? Collegiate, historically Joanne doesn't talk much. She will take/return calls from some PSDs. She actually had a pretty misleading conversation with our PSD about my son. He wound up on WL, and PSD thought he was getting in.
HM historically doesn't give feedback; they just listen really and give nice murmurs. This seems to be changing a little recently. Jason is also such a nice guy his conversations can be a little misleading. He is the nicest part of the admin at that school. (I hope the same is not true for some of the other admissions directors, ahem, see above, ahem)
Interesting, do you recall what led your PSD to think he was getting into Collegiate? Was it specific feedback, or was she reading between the lines? Perhaps it was early feedback that changed along the way? Either way, I'm sure it was upsetting to have been misled.
I could definitely see Jason having only nice things to say about every candidate, but at least he makes the whole process more enjoyable.
Even over Zoom, Jason has been the nicest! He sells the school so well.
It was the week before decisions came out. It was pretty positive and specific. Our PSD was like, "I never say anything for sure, but..." We had decided on a different school where we had clearer feedback, so this news threw us into a bit of a tailspin, but then he was WL, and no one from admissions even returned our calls inquiring about the WL when we were expressing interest in case a spot became available. Which to me is pretty rude. Some schools are very nice about that, and some are silent. After what families go through, I appreciate the schools who go the extra mile and communicate and are kind during that week. Riverdale stands out in my memory in that regard. Jenna was very kind and communicative about where they stood and likely timing.
That's annoying, I'm sorry. Were you surprised by the positive feedback from Collegiate based on how you thought your son's playdate and your parent interview went? Did you end up at the school where you had clearer feedback?
Yes, Riverdale admissions team is really nice. I guess some of the schools have such high yields that they don't have to be nice, but still, that's no excuse.
@Anonymous Hi, i'm WL at Collegiate mom. I had no idea how the playdate or interview went. They all feel the same, though Collegiate felt chillier. My son had only applied to 3 schools, and didn't get an interview at one of them (Trinity). So we went to the other one. I'm glad. I think coed is better for him, but I would not have turned down Collegiate because it's a bigger name and i'm a sucker.
Did collegiate tell you where you were on the wl? Were they responsive?
I am surprised you got feedback from C! Joanne never gives feedback - even to our PSD whom she knew very well!
Makes me feel better to hear this (np) as we keep trying to get info from our psd but she says collegiate esp gives no indications. She thinks they will take a few students from our school so fingers crossed
Does wait-list at collegiate mean anything? Does it move or it's basically a no? Trying to prepare ourselves
@Anonymous WL at Collegiate is a real WL. And because they don't give feedback their yield is not 100%. If you are WL you should push.
NP - This. Our PSD said no feedback from Joanne, and we didn't get any. DC ended up getting in.
Just here to say that this whole process is so bananas. We had one school ask our PSD today if they offered a spot if we would definitely come and it's like ... we haven't heard from any other schools? How are we supposed to know/decide today!?
I wish there wasn't so much behind-the-scenes nonsense and we could just decide when we hear.