DH is not very close to his parents or to his sister, he loves them but he doesn’t enjoy spending time with them. MIL has a really strong overbearing personality which most people find off putting. She and SIL are neighbors and almost like best friend, so there’s this weird dynamic that if ever we want our DCs to see their grandparents SIL is always there. Then she and MIL start judging and nudging and criticizing our family or our kids. We havent seen any of them for a year but will see them this week. DH wanted to take the kids for a day trip as I’m working but now mil is insisting they go Saturday so SIL can be there too. Is there any way to manage this dynamic? MIL won’t drive for an hour to see us so it’s always got to be at her home and on her terms.