Well now she overslept and was an hour late (unshowered of course), among other issues. I’m going to ask if she thinks this is a good fit / match for her, and if she says yes, will then have a conversation about professional expectations. And if she can’t get it together after that, will let go and replace. Fair?
I'd say "Sorry, not a good fit for me" and fire her. She's not going to improve significantly. There's no way you can change an adult's hygiene from low to high and you won't be able to trust her.
I didn't read your earlier thread, but I'm getting the picture. Have you considered asking her to wear a uniform that she can throw in the hamper? (I don't know if laundry is part of her job).
This situation is not working for you, bite the bullet and let her go, it will take time and effort but you can find someone just as good
I wrote before on the other thread and I think that's fair. Being late and having other issues is a problem. I would have one conversation and if there is not a real change, let go.
Hi would fire her, no conversation about ”expectations”, I had 2 other nannies that didn’t work out before having our current nanny who’s been with us for over 5 years. And shes been late maybe once for about 15 min when there was a super long train delay. the smell won’t improve and an hour late is not acceptable .
You need to fire her. Not her choice if this works for her.
The fact that you’re referring to her as a ‘malodorous caregiver‘ is frankly a major red flag to me. I posted on your initial thread and was the minority voice who thought DC should practice tolerance. I was also told it was ’offensive’ to draw a parallel between this and people of color being discriminated against bc of their natural hair (#whitefragility). Posts like this make me miss the old Ub bc there‘s not a big enough community here to generate a diversity of opinions. Again, she likely doesn’t have a washer and dryer in her house or the disposable income to have extra clothing or the time to go to a laundromat etc etc. There are many contributing factors here, but you continue to insist on seeing it as simply a matter of you being ‘the kind of people who wash daily and launder clothes after every use.’ No, there are also socioeconomic factors at okay and your unwillingness to see this frustrates me.
Why do you assume there are socioeconomic factors at play? That is your projection. We pay enough for her to have her laundry picked up and done for her so, no, I don't think that's the issue. Besides which, this is our home. This is not an office space. It's our home where we are working, living, playing, etc, most of the time. It's just not acceptable for someone in this bubble to fail basic hygiene standards. I'm really not sure why you are assuming there is more to it than that.
Regardless of your socioeconomic status, you must meet basic hygiene standards. Particularly if you want solid economic opportunities. That said, I really don't think money has anything to do with it. It's a matter of what you prioritize, what's important, etc. If what you were saying were true, then poor people would uniformly be unhygienic, which is obviously patently false.
I disagree, and that’s not at all the point I’m making. I’m saying that this nanny likely has increased obstacles, and it’s not as easy/convenient/effortless for to launder her clothes or have additional outfits. I remember a girl my daughter was friends with who often wore the same clothes multiple days in a row and this was likely bc she had two working parents who were overwhelmed with life and laundering her clothes wasn’t at the top of their list and likely fell through the cracks at times (they also had substance abuse issues). I’m mostly encouraging you to widen your perspective and be cognizant of the obstacles other people face.
1) Did you talk to her about the odor issue? Get over the fear of conflict and discuss it already. If anything it is beneficial for her future job opportunities. 2) The hour late thing is a new and different problem. One time, ok, talk about it. If it happens again, let her go. But for all those here who are saying fire the girl w/o any conversation about why ... terrible heartless.
Yes!! I was just adding a comment to say at least have a direct conversation with her before you send her to scrap heap bc of her ‘malodorous’ ways
OP here, and I was always going to have a conversation before firing. Which we had, and which I posted about. I have zero fear of conflict, but this isn't a conversation where I wanted conflict. I wanted gentle diplomacy and to preserve the relationship -- not outright conflict, which this wasn't the place for, imo.