Have a child in first grade and one in PreK and they go to the park every day after school with my nanny or have indoor play dates with masks on the really cold/rainy days. They’re hybrid in school which has been closed a bit and I have a tutor for my 1st grader on home days. No fighting or struggling with schoolwork, he’s enjoying learning and and while he prefers school, there is no drama on home days. Kids seem happy and somewhat oblivious to what’s going on now which is all I want for them.
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Jan 31
I’ve done everything I can to give kids a normal life during Covid and it’s going well
I’ve done everything I can to give kids a normal life during Covid and it’s going well
27 comments
good for you. if everyone could afford a tutor, a nanny, enough space for socially distanced playdates - and had neurotypical kids who were easily able to adjust to remote school we might all feel similarly proud.
You’re kind of an asshole
Everyone is giving you a hard time, OP. Just ignore the meanness. It’s great that you did your best and it all worked out. Do recognize, though, that there are many many MANY people who are doing their level best and it’s still an unrelenting nightmare. It might be better to express your feelings in terms of gratitude that it all worked out since there is definitely some luck involved vs pride that you caused this great outcome, to which you certainly contributed but that is not all your doing.
i am genuinely curious as to your motivation behind this post and how/why it made you feel better.
I can do some of this and still feel tortured I'm not doing enough. Working full time, making sure they get out of the house and have some safe activities and worried for their mental health (and mine) plus dad is a doctor and they worry about him.
Ok, I guess that's great for you. Not understanding why you're posting this. Many others do not have your resources, so not sure the lesson here.
You must be the only person whose life (kids lives) isn't affected by this disaster then.
I actually think the reaction to this speaks to a broader theme: this is a thing that no one actually articulates but I'll say it. Parenting to me is brutally hard, and honestly I pretty much never want to hear about situations when it is (at least relatively) easy for others. And I feel like that is universal. Do I want to hear about successes, where things have been challenging? ABSOLUTELY. But I never really ever ever ever want to hear about someone's parenting experience that has just been easy. 'OMG owen slept 12 hours from like week 3'. "Noooo Eleanor would never say 'mommy I like daddy better." She adores me.' 'We actually have become closer and more at peace as a family during covid'. NOPE. Among the things that are super hard for me, are some things that are easy. Would I call a friend and tell them those things? Nope. Would I post about them on social media in a kind of like - THIS - way? HELL to the no. Smug mothers of instagram, random friends who say 'oh no! we don't have that problem' and others of that ilk: know this. You're not helping. Ok, apologies, end rant.
I totally understand why you feel that way, but please don't purport to speak for everyone ("I feel like that is universal" -- it's not). If others are having an easy time, good for them. I don't compare myself against others so it doesn't really matter to me what they say about their own circumstances. This only matters if you're insecure about your own performance. Own it, whatever it is. Do your best. That's all you can do.
@Anonymous It was interesting social commentary. Your comment on how you're totally self actualized is actually kind of meta, given this conversation.
I hate smug parents too. I know one woman who doesn’t work, has 1 DD who is very independent and a good student, and competes well in her sport. She literally has nothing to do all day but is always “so busyyyyy”! There is a male counterpart to that too sometimes: parenting is so easy for him, guess why? His wife does all the hard work!
A nanny? Tutor? School? What’s different about your life ? School is closed for most
People on this board are so mean-spirited whenever anyone says something positive. I don't have a nanny or a tutor or a housekeeper or any hired help at all--just DH and me, holding down two FT jobs and first remote, then hybrid, and now FT, 5-day school that requires us to commute 30min each way, twice a day.
We do all the cooking and clean all the toilets and scan all the assignments and dig the car out of the snow, and everything else.
I'll be honest, though we would obviously never choose a pandemic, we have really appreciated this year as a family. We also really like our jobs, which really helps, though in normal times, we would be working FT with 45-min commutes. There are definitely things I'll miss when this is over (though my office said no one will ever have to be in-person 5 days a week ever again, so that's also a win!)
You've made it work through whatever methods were available to you, and you'll come out of it. So will we. That's to your credit. There are parents who have more resources than you who are on here every day, miserable.
i think ft school 5 days a week makes a HUGE difference. we both work ft and had a nanny and hybrid and it sucked. we moved schools to get ft and it's like night and day. remote school can be really brutally hard.
@Anonymous It makes a difference for the kids, though tbh with the morning prep and the commute (driving 2 hrs a day w pickup at 2pm) it's kind of a wash for us. We are very glad about FT school, though the past two snow days did have their advantages.
We've also only been FT for about a month.
@anonymous Having kids in school for any block of time makes a huge difference to manageability since it provides an uninterrupted block of time to work. And if you're able to do pick up every day at 2 pm without help, it also suggests you're not in the kind of job that has people on the phone or on video calls from 8-6 or later. The posts I've seen from people who are struggling seem as if they have very demanding jobs that would not permit a daily pick up at 2 pm with 2 hours in the car every day. All of those things matter to how one experiences this pandemic.