Agreed, I was dumb and wish I had this self wisdom earlier in life.
Boy, I wish I had learned that lesson.
why is that your wish vs. making enough money yourself to have the life you want? Marrying solely for money sounds terrible.
Good point. Unfortunately, in my "wish," I am raising my own children as well.
Op: I wish I married for money because then I wouldn’t have to worry about finances. I earn more money than dh, but still have to take care of everything else at home. If I married for money, then I could SAH and handle everything at home without the added stress of a job.
I make my own money. Honestly, I don't understand women whose goal in life is to be bystanders to someone else's accomplishments.
Op: marriage is hard and no financial worries is huge. I am accomplished but still have financial worries. If I married for money, I could still work but it would be on my own terms.
Here’s the thing though. If you married the right person, marriage is not hard. I’ve been married for 35 years. Neither of us are rich but there is nothing better than spending my days with my best friend. Life can be hard, but marriage isn’t.
Op: yes I married too young (I think) and didn’t realize what was important in a marriage. But he also hid his true self when we were dating.
My friend married for money/potential for major success (even though she herself came from a wealthy family). Her asshole DH got her addicted to opioids and now her kids live with the grandparents bc they can't pull their lives together.
She’s a grown up and could have made better choices. Not the DH’s fault
It's very hard to predict now who will be financially successful. Really. What income is guaranteed? You could be laid off at 47 even if you're a high flyer at a hedge fund. Sorry to say it but family wealth / inherited wealth seems to be the most sure thing. I am working, DH works, but we could not live the lifestyle we are living without inherited wealth- moreso his but also mine. And yes I did consider lifestyle particularly the ability to provide for my kids when choosing a spouse.
Precisely this. This economy and job market are unpredictable. Well-managed, inherited wealth is a safety net and stress reliever.
Op: this is exactly what I mean. Most marriages are hard work. Why not make your life slightly easier by marrying someone with generational wealth? I wish I had known this when I was younger. There wouldn’t have been a guaranteed that I would’ve married someone from a wealthy family, but I could have at least kept an eye out for this.
How could you not have known that life is easier when you are well off? Getting an Mrs degree is a dated joke. This is not a remotely new concept. Tell us about the circumstances of your meeting and deciding to marry him?
You all sound like annoying whiny or smug bitches. Pull it together.
Seriously. It’s Christmas Eve and over here, we’re complaining about vaccines, our kids baking, and non-rich DHs. Insufferable.
ITA embarrassing too, it’s the 21st century ladies. Go get It
@anonymous this made me crack up! But seriously taking stock of this terrible year, we have all been picking at all the negatives in our lives or the not so ideal parts. The pandemic has forced us to think about our accomplishments and highlighted all the unsaid and unacknowledged regrets for some insane reason. It isnt eanough that we have to deal with this horror, but we need to self-inflict moral injury alongside.
Disagree. If lifestyle is important consider it seriously. Same with religion and level of observance. And I am sorry for women who end up with rich spouses who end up to be disappointing. You have to decide what is worth tolerating.
My grandmother always said "It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor one." Not sure that's true, but anyway I didn't follow the advice.
Op: great saying! Your grandmother knew what she was talking about.
Don’t we all. Seems to be so much easier. Certain races know this and you’ll notice said races marrying very well off white men.
Get a job gosh. What a terrible role model for your kids
There's jobs and then there's killing yourself jobs. If both spouses contribute financially, and one or both come to the table with money already, you don't need to kill yourself with work.