Agreed, I was dumb and wish I had this self wisdom earlier in life.
Boy, I wish I had learned that lesson.
why is that your wish vs. making enough money yourself to have the life you want? Marrying solely for money sounds terrible.
Good point. Unfortunately, in my "wish," I am raising my own children as well.
Op: I wish I married for money because then I wouldn’t have to worry about finances. I earn more money than dh, but still have to take care of everything else at home. If I married for money, then I could SAH and handle everything at home without the added stress of a job.
I make my own money. Honestly, I don't understand women whose goal in life is to be bystanders to someone else's accomplishments.
Op: marriage is hard and no financial worries is huge. I am accomplished but still have financial worries. If I married for money, I could still work but it would be on my own terms.
Here’s the thing though. If you married the right person, marriage is not hard. I’ve been married for 35 years. Neither of us are rich but there is nothing better than spending my days with my best friend. Life can be hard, but marriage isn’t.
Op: yes I married too young (I think) and didn’t realize what was important in a marriage. But he also hid his true self when we were dating.
My friend married for money/potential for major success (even though she herself came from a wealthy family). Her asshole DH got her addicted to opioids and now her kids live with the grandparents bc they can't pull their lives together.
She’s a grown up and could have made better choices. Not the DH’s fault
It's very hard to predict now who will be financially successful. Really. What income is guaranteed? You could be laid off at 47 even if you're a high flyer at a hedge fund. Sorry to say it but family wealth / inherited wealth seems to be the most sure thing. I am working, DH works, but we could not live the lifestyle we are living without inherited wealth- moreso his but also mine. And yes I did consider lifestyle particularly the ability to provide for my kids when choosing a spouse.
Precisely this. This economy and job market are unpredictable. Well-managed, inherited wealth is a safety net and stress reliever.