Sounds like you need some new friends. This is probably not the best time to find some, but if you want to be around people of substance, do something meaningful.
It sounds like we’d get along... I also find most of the stuff that people talk about stupid. But I really think that the current popular culture discourages critical thought—you might come up with a controversial conclusion!—so people are reverting to the inane like you described. People are afraid to think or say anything anymore that doesnt follow their prescribed cultural party line. Finding intellectually exciting people is harder than ever.
@Anonymous I would agree with this except they are not politically minded at all. They really don’t have an opinion. I would like to talk about politics and the state of affairs beyond the hybrid model our school is imposing. theylike to talk about their kids social lives and what they are doing on the weekend in that order. They are good people, but I’m just feeling blah about it all.
You know what they say. Only boring people are bored. If you want to talk about something else, then find something else to talk about and start the conversation.
@Anonymous totally get that. Why don’t you start raising new topics that interest you?I’d stay away from politics for the moment, but maybe discuss something related to the arts, or decorating. New developments in science that you are following. Raise a question and ask for their opinion— most people like to talk and are flattered to be asked, especially if you show real interest in hearing their answers. Ask them what their college major was, if they can remember why they chose it, do they still follow topics in that area, why or why not, what would they choose if they were choosing now. Or discuss favorite, or dream travel spots. Maybe you have something in common or interesting differences on these topics. Will certainly change conversation. Key is to get them interested in discussing by asking lots of questions, and listening and commenting a lot. They will enjoy it and it and come back for more.
i get it. it does sound like you might need some different friends. i like having a mix. it's helpful to have some friends to discuss kids/the gym whatever but also have friends that are more irreverent or with a dark sense of humor. for me, laughter is important in my friendships. it sounds like what you're describing might be friendships that were always a bit more surface. do you have any longterm close friends you can reconnect with? or old friends? sure sometimes i like talking about what shoes to wear w a close friend but we also talk about our parents, inner worlds, current events etc
Sounds like you need some new friends. This is probably not the best time to find some, but if you want to be around people of substance, do something meaningful.
have they always been this way?
I have a job so not a lot of downtime and my job is somewhat meaningful. I suppose
they have always
been this way but as we’ve gotten older it seems more blatant. I don’t want to talk about the gym
and the vacation and the drama with 15 year olds. I just don’t. Am I an asshole?
It sounds like we’d get along... I also find most of the stuff that people talk about stupid. But I really think that the current popular culture discourages critical thought—you might come up with a controversial conclusion!—so people are reverting to the inane like you described. People are afraid to think or say anything anymore that doesnt follow their prescribed cultural party line. Finding intellectually exciting people is harder than ever.
@Anonymous I would agree with this except they are not politically minded at all. They really don’t have an opinion. I would like to talk about politics and the state of affairs beyond the hybrid model our school is imposing. theylike to talk about their kids social lives and what they are doing on the weekend in that order. They are good people, but I’m just feeling blah about it all.
why did you become friends in the first place? do you have any non-mom friends?
You know what they say. Only boring people are bored. If you want to talk about something else, then find something else to talk about and start the conversation.
Getting bored with other people doesn’t mean you are boring yourself, come on Np
Disagree; everyone has something interesting to say.
Ok Pollyanna
What do you want to talk about?
I don’t want to talk about my kids. I do that with my husband.
@Anonymous totally get that. Why don’t you start raising new topics that interest you?I’d stay away from politics for the moment, but maybe discuss something related to the arts, or decorating. New developments in science that you are following. Raise a question and ask for their opinion— most people like to talk and are flattered to be asked, especially if you show real interest in hearing their answers. Ask them what their college major was, if they can remember why they chose it, do they still follow topics in that area, why or why not, what would they choose if they were choosing now. Or discuss favorite, or dream travel spots. Maybe you have something in common or interesting differences on these topics. Will certainly change conversation. Key is to get them interested in discussing by asking lots of questions, and listening and commenting a lot. They will enjoy it and it and come back for more.
i get it. it does sound like you might need some different friends. i like having a mix. it's helpful to have some friends to discuss kids/the gym whatever but also have friends that are more irreverent or with a dark sense of humor. for me, laughter is important in my friendships. it sounds like what you're describing might be friendships that were always a bit more surface. do you have any longterm close friends you can reconnect with? or old friends? sure sometimes i like talking about what shoes to wear w a close friend but we also talk about our parents, inner worlds, current events etc