Totally depends on what you are asking and your variables. Are you asking about layout of the city? IMO that depends on how much you are driving. Or when or if it’ll feel like home? that’s tougher. It may never.
@Anonymous op: oh my....that’s what I’m worried about. That it’ll never feel like home and I’ll always want to go back home. I’m driving a lot now (but not much different than in NY since I was in an outerborough). Nothing about DC really excites me. I took a job here but my manager is a real ass. I love the job but wish I had a different manager. Adding to that the fact that DC doesn’t feel like home, I’m considering finding another job and going back to NY.
I've moved around a lot. Upstate NY... NH... NC... NYC... SLC... Seattle... Vermont. What is important to me is the little things. Figuring out the grocery store until it feels like second nature. Finding the best eyebrow waxer and other similar services. I'd say to feel at home, it generally took about a year. Places change over the course of a year... seasonally... annual events, etc. By the time a year comes back around, things feel familiar. Throw Covid into the mix, and you lose that sense of time and tradition... it may take longer.
I should also add that the moves I made were all places I was excited about. So if you're agnostic on DC, it might not happen for you.
DC is such a different vibe as NY. I lived there for a while and I never got into it so I returned to NYC. I can't even imagine in COVID. I think I'm just a NYC person for life.
@Anon op: sadly I’m scared that I’m the same way. how long were you in DC?
@anonymous Not long. It was very easy for me to return so that was always in the back of my mind honestly. I'm just not a DC person. That doesn't mean you are. There must have been something that moved you there in the first place. Maybe the suburbs arent you for you? DC has a lot of more urban areas that are still reasonable - maybe dont go all in on the suburban option?
@Anon op: it’s kind of in the back of my mind too. I still have my place in NY and go often. Im kind of keeping my eyes open for job opportunities back in NY although this is a great role and I would stay a lot longer if it were in NY. Dh would only stay here if we were to live in the suburbs (this is deal breaker for him). He’s willing to move for my job but wants a big house with a backyard.
frankly, I think something needs to excite you about the new place or it will never happen. Be it work, bigger home, better life style, being close to family, etc etc. If there is nothing to hold on to during the rough days it will never feel like home IMO
@Anonymous op: only thing that excites me about the move is the job (and fact that it’s not terribly far from all my family that’s in NY). Dh loves the idea of leaving NY and getting a house in the suburbs somewhere. I’m not sure it’s the best thing for me. Wouldnt have ever even considered leaving NY had it not been for this job opportunity.
@anonymous So you have to actively work to change your mindset. Find a hobby or activity, join a group and create a community. Biking, hiking, running are all easy and are happening even now.
@Anon op: you’re right but it’s hard when my extended family isn’t supportive; dc are against it; only one that’s on board is dh (as long as we move to the burbs). But I need to remain positive and find the good here.
Like a lot of things in life, this comes down to what you choose to make of it. If you're waiting for some external invitation, it's never going to come. If you truly want to feel like you're at home, then make yourself at home and act like you're at home. Decorate your house, plant some flowers, subscribe to the local paper, patronize local businesses, join things, volunteer in the community, be a good neighbor, make friends, invite people over, start new traditions, imitate local customs and language and try to adapt yourself to the environment a bit. And reframe your mindset. Instead of constantly worrying about whether you like it and should stay, assume you're staying and focus on the life you're building there.
@Anonymous op: thank you, you’re right.
Give it time and some positive energy