Texted with babysitter on Monday asking for the plan re: hours this week (we had agreed to coming in a couple of days). She begged off Tuesday, which was fine, but didn't reply to text asking to please lmk the plan for the rest of the week. Nothing. I texted to check in and ask, but no reply. I finally just said, no worries -- we'll see you next week. No reply. She also was supposed to text me about some planned activities next week. Completely radio silent. I finally texted again just saying, haven't heard from you -- is everything ok? Let us know. Still radio silent. She has our numbers, she has our emails -- but nothing. I finally realized I've been talking into a void all week. What's going on? Has she quit? Such an easy gig, but you never know what's going on in people's lives. What's a reasonable time to await a response? Really need to line someone up for next week so can't wait indefinitely and feel like this is a bit crazy. WWYD? Have only worked w/her for a couple of months.
Consider her gone. Hire someone else. Even if she comes back she's unreliable.
OP here, and I STILL haven't heard anything. Now we're just really worried. The last communications we had were so upbeat and positive on her end that we're worried something has happened. She still has items of value here, as well. Absolutely no indication that this was coming. Would it be crazy to ask the police to do a wellness check??
Do you know anyone who can check on her? Like a friend, cousin etc? I guess you can call the cops but likely she forgot she left anything valuable , or it's not valuable to her, and she's fine but does not want the job. In any event I hope she is safe and healthy.
No, I don't think she forgot. A friend loaned her a bunch of educational stuff to use with DC, so it isn't even her stuff, it's stuff that belongs to a friend. That's why I don't think it was discarded. I guess it's possible she forgot or doesn't care, but it all seems strange and out of character, inasmuch as you can know someone's character after a couple of months. Agree that it would be best to call a relative, and while I have a general sense of her family, I don't know their names or numbers. She does have a roommate, whose info I don't have. IA that chances are she's fine and found another, closer job, better hours, or whatever, but what if she's not?
OP here - turns out she had a hospitalized parent / family emergency, and was MIA as a result. I was waking up worrying about what might have happened -- it was so out of character. So I'm glad to hear she's ok, but obviously sorry to hear the news.
The question is what to do now - I already lined up help after I went days and days with no response. Do I just continue with someone new? That's my inclination, but I have not been in this position before.
You must let her go. In life, there are terrible emergencies. but people have to let their employers know they aren't coming in. It's not optional. I would say that's even more the case with childcare than with an office job. but either way, one can't go awol.
@anonymous Thanks for this perspective. I feel so sad to do it. It was terribly irresponsible, and I cannot tell you -- I was just so stressed (who disappears like that?) -- but she's a good person at the bottom of it. Just not totally together (obviously). DC have been asking about her, too, planning for her return. I know you are right. It's just hard.
I've been there. You have to cut it now. She's irresponsible and luckily you were able to cover this time. I've had this happen with a nanny (whom we loved and who ostensibly loved us) -- and I managed someone over a summer who disappeared. He was in a support position. We did finally send the police over. He was FINE and hadn't responded to calls, emails, or texts, and had no grievance. He just wasn't well enough to come in or respond. You can't shoulder someone else's emotional problems to this extent, and your child will surely become close to your next nanny, too. Good luck. I know this is hard, but if your current nanny claims not to understand why you have to let her go, she's playing you. It's completely understandable.
Let her go, stop being so hard on yourself. I can give you a million reasons why but just let her go. Your kid comes first. Also noted - she didn't answer until you asked if she was Ok. I wonder if she would ever have answered.
OP here -- true. It was actually the second or third time I asked if she was ok :( But it was the first time I let her know she'd be replaced. I think she was just planning to come back when school resumes.
as I think about it, you may be right -- maybe she finally responded because she knew I had found someone else and was therefore off the hook. Who knows. Just glad to have some closure and (hopefully) not have it be awkward.
You won't know what she was thinking and you need to focus on yourself and your family. That is not selfish at all. I personally think her behavior was inappropriate but I wouldn't waste time trying to get inside her head. That's futile with anyone really.
You are seeing her again? Otherwise I would say don't. Closure accomplished.
No no -- not seeing again (except to return items, which I can leave w/the doorman). Just saying glad I have closure in the sense that I know she's alive and fine and that nothing terrible befell her. Sorry about the family member, obviously but at least I know she's not on a ventilator somewhere.