MIL sends a list each year with links to specific stuff she wants. Then she expects everyone to tell her what they’ll be buying and not to gift anything off her list. SIL has started to do the same thing.
I like to give thoughtful gifts that I think people will appreciate and I actually enjoy putting a lot of time into this. I find receiving their lists really tacky though I haven’t told them so.
MIL and SIL both reached out to me this week for ‘our lists‘. I told them once again this year that we don’t have lists and don’t plan to put any together. They’re frustrated with me now. SIL has kids who are a few years older than mine so I told her to just get something small that her kids enjoyed, such as a good book.
How does it work in your family?
Right now, I would suggest a gift card to a local business, like a neighborhood restaurant (that you could order in from) or book store, so you can help keep them going.
I usually make an Amazon list for the kids but someone (MIL) invariably uses it incorrectly and the kids get doubles of somethings. People might mention something that they would really like but the adults don't keep lists.
Super tacky. I can already imagine the caricatures that are your in-laws.
They are real life unfortunately for me! I just try to ensure my children understand the difference between sending a list and selecting a thoughtful gift.
If they’re long distance then just buy a gift off their list and maybe add a small thoughtful gift from dc to grandma. And count blessings they’re not local! My in laws are overbearing in different ways, and I just try to keep the peace unless (until?) it’s just too antithetical to my moral core!
my kids do informal lists. i have an amazon wishlist for DH to use because he is a terrible gift shopper and prefers that option; I don't expect gifts from anyone else except my kids and i would never send them a list. DH claims he never wants anything so I have to come up with something on my own.