I went to a fancy private school in CT, and even though we were very well off, I felt like the poorest kid in the class. Currently have 2 DDs at a fancy UES preschool, and we're applying to K. Our HHI is ~$1-1.3mm / year, so we can afford it but it's not nothing to us. When do kids realize they are less wealthy? Do they feel bad about it? Currently, older DD has lots of friends in preschool, teachers say she is very bright, and she spends all her time asking questions about numbers and science, and I am not even a little worried about her keeping up academically. But don't want to put her in a situation where she will feel insecure as a preteen / teen. Any feedback is helpful - TIA!
Uh... At that level of income I don't think you are going to feel poor. You can afford fancy vacations and a modest Hamptons or other summer home. That's all you really need to "keep up." The private jet crowd is exceptional, not the norm.
And by the time you get to the teen years, any TT has become a pressure-cooker. Kids are more focused on their academics at that point, as they don't have time for much else. It's the easier elementary years where the kids could wonder why Susie lives in a 5-story townhouse and jets off on private planes whenever school has a break.
Not sure what you’re thinking. At that income, you need to go public. Definitely.
Are you kidding?
https://www.google.com/search?&q=irony
@Anonymous LOL!!! So much better than LMGTFY. HAHA!
Nice to see some classic UB humble brags on this board.
Our family makes half that salary and have one DC at a private TT. On that salary, we are full pay, own our home, take nice vacations. We don't own a summer house. DC is perfectly fine at school as there is a wide range. We are solidly and comfortably in the middle.
Yeah, you're definitely MC, too, at 650k.
LOL.
Yeah, I'm a NYC native, so I know all about "but at TT privates..." and blah blah blah.
Can we please set up a "downvote" or "dislike" feature on this board?
In defense of PP, she said “in the middle”. I interpreted that to mean at her school v MC. Otherwise, I agree with all other posters. To OP: what is your alternative anyway, switch to a 2T/3T with no private jet club in hopes that you are among the wealthiest?
@Anonymous What makes you think a 2T/3T is any less wealthy? They *all* cost close to $60k. The TTs are probably less wealthy bc they have more Financial Aid to give out and mega wealthy parents who aren't *as* concerned with the tippy top education send their kids to 2T and beyond.
My DCs are also at a TT private and our HHI is less than yours. While my older one does notice that some of her friends have huge brownstones that are bigger than our apt, it's really not an issue or something she brings up regularly. She more complains about things her friends are able to do that she can't - like stay up later, have playdates during the pandemic, etc (not money related at all). FWIW, I went to a very fancy and very affluent private school in another state and while I was not the poorest by far, my parents are very cheap and we had a big/nice home but I was not allowed to have the newest and most fashionable clothes and accessories everyone else had, we didn't go on fancy vacations (or anywhere really) and I didn't get a fancy car when I got my license like friends... but it has nothing to do with being able to afford it because we could. Regardless, while I was annoyed my parents would not buy me everything I wanted as a teenager, it has been a non-issue as an adult and perhaps is what motivated me to work hard so I didn't need to rely on my parents.
We're right at your HHI and didn't go private, in great part because of the money/lifestyle. I don't want to hang out with private jet people and I don't want my kids growing up thinking that's normal.
My kids, at 13 and 10, don't seem to have picked up on just how wealthy or famous some of their friends' parents are. I think that is in part because DH and I don't talk about it and partly because these aren't classmates, just sports team buddies or friends of friends. We have no regrets about going with public school and we opted not to apply for MS or HS this year. It wouldn't be a good fit.