I'm generally not a big gift giver, so it's hard for me to understand the impulse, but I have a friend who is a compulsive gift giver. For example, I'd casually ask if she's read any good books recently, and she'll go and buy me 4 books. Or, I'll pass her outside the grocery store and she'll give me food from her cart as a gift. There are also more normal gifts, like every time we see each other she'll come laden with presents (not just 1 or 2 things). I reciprocate, but my larger concern is that she's struggling financially and I don't need any of her gifts. I've thanked her and said I don't need any, but she continues to give and give.
She's struggling financially because she is a compulsive spender. This is her problem and you won't be able to fix it. She has an insecurity that she is trying to fill with stuff and she is also trying to buy affection from other people because she doesn't think she's worth it on her own. Sad.
Agree. This is very strange behavior for anyone but especially someone who is struggling financially. I would keep on gently rejecting her gifts but there is not much to do.
Op here. She's in a bad place financially because of COVID. I feel bad because I'm her friend because she's a nice person, not because of the gifts.
I would venture to say that gift-giving is not the CAUSE of her problems...more likely underemployed or underpaid? Maybe SAHM with underemployed husband? When I got to NY I was so grateful for advice and guidance that I would regularly over-gift as I was paying of grad school loans. No regrets!
Interesting. I realized I was doing this with a friend. Suddenly it occurred to me she was always asking if I had leftover medications (the addictive kinds you get from a psychiatrist for panic attacks, and opioids after surgery) (I had had both in the time we knew each other and told her I had reactions to them and didn’t use them). she was manipulating me - we aren’t friends anymore.
What a gift! Beware liability for sharing prescription drugs. Ugh.
I think she’s a serial manipulator. She played to my vulnerability. I work full time and was lonely for mom friends. Still kind of boggles my mind I didn’t read this sooner .