He goes off to the office. Meanwhile I am FT/Working home, overseeing the kids working, doing all the cooking, upkeep (housekeeper does clean once a week) and every emergency (plumber, pest control, you name it). And all he does is snap at me. I don't feel he cares or appreciates me at all.
It's hard.
He may be wrapped up in his own feelings. Is he stressed about going into the office? I could see this dynamic happening to lots of working parents. And businesses are not making it easy to feel comfortable. you seriously feel like you're taking your life into your hands at some of these places (e.g, masks upon entering, but you don't have to wear your mask once you get to your desk/office/post). Try to be patient with and kind to one another. It's an extremely stressful time for all.
Being appreciated would be great, but I gave up on that long time ago. Instead, I decide what is it I need to make it work for me, so that I don't feel so negative and overwhelmed. Give chores and tasks to DH, outsource even more stuff. Have a conversation with him, tell him what you want and try to make it work. I know it's easier said than done, but waiting to be appreciated is completely pointless and breeds resentment on both sides.
This falls into the category of "men suck." Expecting a man to anticipate someone else's needs or pitch in voluntarily is an exercise in futility (with some rare exceptions, I'm sure).
Yea I'm you, except that my DH isn't working so he sleeps half the day and spends maybe 30 minutes looking for a job, while I work from home and do all the work with the kids. He makes dinner and that's about it and then he complains that we don't have sex enough and that I don't kiss him enough and he doesn't seem to get that if he helped me around the house, with the kids, or actually tried to find a job I wouldn't be so stressed about our finances and exhausted from doing everything, but he didn't get it so we argue almost every day. I'm sorry I don't have any advice, but you're not alone and I'm starting to understand why so many marriage are failing right now.
Thank you for the perspective and I am sorry. I feel like I do try to be gracious and thankful but I have a VERY short fuse.