6th grade boy has a huge crush on one of his best friends but feels it is unrequited and is jealous of crush’s friendship with another boy. He said he cried in the bathroom the last couple of days at school. He seems really tortured by the whole thing. I feel like he’s really young to be feeling so intensely about this. Anyone been there?
Does he have a crush on a girl, or on another boy?
@Anonymous a boy.
@anon it could be that emotions are very high because he doesn’t know how to navigate this world as himself. I think there are much bigger issues at play than unrequited love. Like identity, personhood, etc. how do you even have a conversation about exploring a relationship in these circumstances? I can appreciate why he’s upset. It’s very very hard. Does he get counseling from an lgbtq+ therapist? This would be a really great topic of conversation. How to navigate scenarios such as these.
Does dc accept that best friend wants only friendship or is it the fact that the friend is not reciprocating the crush that’s causing his sadness. Is the other boy a good friend of your son’s as well? It might just be that it’s “fresh” and a little passage of time will help him understand best friend is not interested in boy crushes. (Or maybe he is — but at least not rn) It’s hard all around at this age..
@Anonymous best friend is bisexual And other friend is gay too. I think it’s just the intensity of emotion that gets me concerned and thinking he’s way too young to be feeling these kind of feelings!
OP again: it’s the feeling of it being unreciprocated and the jealousy of crush’s flirty friendship with a different boy
@anon I once heard a musician say that even babies can sing the blues.
Re: your ds, I think this is a really good opportunity to talk through how to manage emotions. That friend liking someone else doesn't have to be a rejection of ds, and he shouldn't take it that way. Not to pin his happiness on acceptance by someone else. He is good and worthy all by himself, and if his bff doesn't see that, that says more about the bff than it does about him. Be happy for the bff and turn his sights elsewhere. It will make for a sad and lonely life if ds can only be happy if someone turns their ray of light onto him instead of being that ray of light for himself.