I know I sound ridiculous, but someone please talk some sense into me. DD (now a college freshman) had a serious BF throughout HS and they broke up last summer because they were headed to different colleges. I know she wants to keep the door open with him (she even recently went to visit him for the weekend), but she is also meeting other boys at her college. I know this is healthy and if you'd asked me a couple of months ago, I'd have said that I *want* her to date other boys and play the field. She seems to be dating a boy (a junior) pretty steadily and I feel like the plan to "explore" could be derailed. I know I need to land the chopper, I just don't want to see her get too serious with someone else right away. Should I say something to her about slowing it down or let it go?
OP. These are good points. I also dated and married my HS boyfriend (23 years strong!) so I don't necessarily think playing the field is important, but I also know that for some people it's an important step in confirming their choice in a mate. I guess I wanted her to *meet* people, but not necessarily *date* someone yet. I guess I have to let it play out. I think the reality is that part of me is pulling for the HS boyfriend. They were together for years and I think there is good potential long term. I guess I have to let it play out.
I met DH my second semester. Married 15 years and 3 kids. ”Exploring” is overrated and tends to lead to hurt feelings. College guys like to up their numbers, why bother ?
I met my DH in high school and dated through college. We're good. I haven't met anyone during all that time who I would have rather married. I don't understand the idea that it's important to play the field.
Let it go (as long as it is a healthy relationship). It's her life and if she is happy, that is all that matters.
My brother met and started dating his now wife during welcome week freshmen year. My sister met and started dating her husband, freshmen year of college. I was the odd ball and didn't meet my husband until five weeks into our sophomore year of college. We have been together for 12 years, married for 8, and have 2 kids.
I met my college boyfriend my third week there.
We've been together for 22 years, married for 12 and have 3 kids. I'm so happy that I never had to "explore" or date.