No advanced warning, no heads up -- nothing. Just showed up this morning like business as usual. Even though I had specifically used OR's language about finding someone to take care of the kids. She said she was confused (though not sure what was confusing). But even if that's true, wouldn't you think you'd chat first about the family's comfort level with returning if, in fact, you spent some or most of the last week in the hospital with a close family member? Even if it was non-COVID related, seems like something to check in on. Or maybe not. IDK. I certainly would have.
Wow. Dodged a bullet with that one. Buh-bye
She's playing you. Sorry but it's true. GREAT nannies out there, and others who feign that they don't understand the reactions to their behavior. You reacted appropriately. Taking her back would be inappropriate.
OP here, and believe it or not, this is causing friction with DH :( He understands my position, but he thinks we should talk to her, find out what happened, have a discussion, etc., since we're now juggling childcare ourselves during a transition period until we're certain we like the new person.. I say, to what end? What's the point? We shouldn't string her along. We should just let her go since we shouldn't take her back under any circumstance. She will come up with a very sad story, I have no doubt. But she put us in a terrible position -- not only to begin with, but also by just planning to show up having blown us off and having spent some of the last week in the hospital. There are just so many ways this is not responsible. And whatever we need from her, she will take liberties and tie it to a sick family member. It feels like she's just trying to take advantage of our need for help and force us to take her back -- if she were really truly confused, why not ask? why spend upwards of an hour commuting at the crack of dawn if you really weren't sure? I don't know. The whole thing just feels so upsetting to me, but obviously don't want to be at odds with DH over it.
There are so many red flags here you would be really foolish to take her back. Stand your ground with DH. He's not looking at the big picture.
@MidtownMom It's not only DH. My sister is giving me a hard time, too. We have had extremely sick family members on both sides, so I think all of this is triggering everyone. It's terrible all around. It doesn't help that DC have been clamoring for her. I'm sorry this happened. But I really feel this person is not respectful of our family. Of our time, of dc, of us as parents having to juggle all of this. There was nothing until I begged her to just please let me know she was alive and not hospitalized. It's just not ok. Unfortunately, the result is that I am the bad guy :(
I'm sorry your DH and DS are giving you a hard time about this. Their reactions are triggering ME, who had a similar problem with a nanny I ignored many such red flags, to much self consternation afterwards, not to mention practical difficulties. You are not a social worker, trying to help people through difficult times... who then gets to go
home in peace. You are an employer who invited this woman into your home, trying to find balance and peace and care for your children. This woman is not being straight with you. And you cannot find these things with her. Please cut it now. for all your sakes. Maybe she will learn a lesson and act better with her next employer. If shes that terrific she will get another job soon.
If you think you are alone in having a jerky nanny you're not
OP here. Not sure where you got that vibe - that I think I'm alone in having a bad nanny experience. I wouldn't be getting all of this helpful advice if I were alone in this.