Thanks for posting. I just read it. WOW! This quote I found interesting. “The Fairfield County player is the rich kid who still has his umbilical cord connected: the kid who doesn’t really have to take ownership of his mistakes or actions.” Tiffany insists he doesn’t buy in to such broad-brush stereotypes. “We try not to care where they’re from,” he says. And yet, “if they’re from a hotbed, there’s an expectation level.” He elaborates: “Do I hold the Fairfield County lacrosse player to a higher standard? Of course. You just know he’s been coached up. So flash-forward to me watching a [high school] junior on the lacrosse field. The thought is going through my brain that I like his skill set but there’s room for growth. But then I think, Wait. He’s already had a lot of people working on these things. He’s a little tapped out. Maybe I’ll take a player from Northern California or Texas. Someone who hasn’t been exposed to such elite coaching. Someone whose best lacrosse could be ahead of him. You try to tell yourself not to overanalyze, but you do.”
This quote really made me think. It's true, though. A kid that has had elite-level coaching for years is probably already at their peak. I'd go with the player that still has their best years ahead of them.
I found the article fascinating. I never understood the pull that athletics had over admissions, particularly for schools such as Ivys which aren't running lucrative programs like football or basketball that are feeders to pros. Who cares if a student plays lacrosse? Sure it demonstrates commitment and perserverance but so does violin or dance or many other extracurriculars, but athletics is the only one with a special thumb on the scale for admissions.
It was poignant to me. We all try to do the best for our families and kids and when the system is broken this is what happens. I say this as a mom who on an entirely different level (lower achieving) is spending 4 hours a week on a tennis court with dd and a tennis ball machine in the hopes of her making the middle school tennis team which is ridiculously competitive. Honestly there are too many kids and not enough spots across the entire School, sports, college and jobs spectrum.
I grew up in flyover and I never even heard of the concept that excelling in sports was an "in" for college. In that way, these programs function more as a filtering system to select for families who are "in the know" about the system, versus those kids who are merely smart but in a different cultural group.
OR. I struggled how to describe it, but I used the word "cultural" group to mean those people, of whatever race, national origin, or class who are not familiar with certain norms.
Perhaps it was less the squash and more that the father was a former Amex CEO? I mean, that's not your everyday suburban sports dad. Can we say development candidate, big donor?
I absolutely know parents like that - and you don't even have to go to the suburbs to find them. My child plays a sport in Manhattan and some of the parents are absolutely convinced at 10 years old, mind you, that sports are the ticket to a better college offer. They push and push and their kids are already injured at young ages. Thousands of dollars spent on private lessons, elite teams, fancy equipment. I do think it's more prevalent in the suburbs as our team has like 2-3 crazy parents and when we play a suburban team...it's an entire team of crazy, screaming parents. Maybe it works for a few elite kids, but for the vast majority, I just see a bunch of overworked kids with injuries happening at far too young of an age.
I read this, it’s insane. Sports are for fun only in our home. My friend growing up lived and breathed soccer. Scholarship was taken away first semester bc of an injury!
Completely insane! It's not enough to pay for a $400 per class coach or hire one to live in your guest house, but some even went out to fund charities to make the sport popular among disadvantaged kids, in order to make it seem less elitist.
"In other words, the same squash luminaries who underwrite squash-access programs have installed training regimens for their own children that make it difficult for regular kids to crack the system. There may be no better allegory for our era."
That quote really struck me as well. Especially after the conversation on here yesterday about pandemic pods. "make(s) it diffcult for regular kids to crack the system." Seriously. The rich get richer in so many ways...
I think we all know families like this and Fairfield County is definitely the epi-center! In Manhattan it is harder to keep up but those with extraordinary means find a way. There is a family who has a pool in their building and an olympic swimmer living with them to privately train their kid. Kid is a good swimmer for the city and mom brags away about him. It's the epitome of being born on 3rd base and thinking you hit a home run.
Glad my kids aren't into sports that much. My daughter (tween) says she wants to be a tennis player when she grow up , I flat out said No. I'm not schlepping her around and blowing the wad on tennis, it should be for fun alone, and she's not that great a player so it would be just grief for her. I don't get it. And I work FT
Reminds me of an episode of On Point I heard a few years back.
https://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2017/08/31/the-big-business-of-youth-sports
It's insane. I've been wanting to move to the suburbs, but if this is what it is like, then no thanks.
Thanks for posting. I just read it. WOW! This quote I found interesting. “The Fairfield County player is the rich kid who still has his umbilical cord connected: the kid who doesn’t really have to take ownership of his mistakes or actions.” Tiffany insists he doesn’t buy in to such broad-brush stereotypes. “We try not to care where they’re from,” he says. And yet, “if they’re from a hotbed, there’s an expectation level.” He elaborates: “Do I hold the Fairfield County lacrosse player to a higher standard? Of course. You just know he’s been coached up. So flash-forward to me watching a [high school] junior on the lacrosse field. The thought is going through my brain that I like his skill set but there’s room for growth. But then I think, Wait. He’s already had a lot of people working on these things. He’s a little tapped out. Maybe I’ll take a player from Northern California or Texas. Someone who hasn’t been exposed to such elite coaching. Someone whose best lacrosse could be ahead of him. You try to tell yourself not to overanalyze, but you do.”
This quote really made me think. It's true, though. A kid that has had elite-level coaching for years is probably already at their peak. I'd go with the player that still has their best years ahead of them.
@Anonymous The insane part of this is to think the kid from Northern California or Texas is less likely to have had elite coaching.
I think the parents sound insane, but how representative are they? There have to be normal parents in hr suburbs too (I hope)
I found the article fascinating. I never understood the pull that athletics had over admissions, particularly for schools such as Ivys which aren't running lucrative programs like football or basketball that are feeders to pros. Who cares if a student plays lacrosse? Sure it demonstrates commitment and perserverance but so does violin or dance or many other extracurriculars, but athletics is the only one with a special thumb on the scale for admissions.
It was poignant to me. We all try to do the best for our families and kids and when the system is broken this is what happens. I say this as a mom who on an entirely different level (lower achieving) is spending 4 hours a week on a tennis court with dd and a tennis ball machine in the hopes of her making the middle school tennis team which is ridiculously competitive. Honestly there are too many kids and not enough spots across the entire School, sports, college and jobs spectrum.
I grew up in flyover and I never even heard of the concept that excelling in sports was an "in" for college. In that way, these programs function more as a filtering system to select for families who are "in the know" about the system, versus those kids who are merely smart but in a different cultural group.
OR. I struggled how to describe it, but I used the word "cultural" group to mean those people, of whatever race, national origin, or class who are not familiar with certain norms.
Agree. The premise is that this is all a backdoor entry for ivy.
Oh, it is happening in flyover too. A lot of this could describe Chicago's north shore as well.
It works - the 2 squash kids mentioned - one went to Princeton, the other Harvard (father is former Amex CEO).
Perhaps it was less the squash and more that the father was a former Amex CEO? I mean, that's not your everyday suburban sports dad. Can we say development candidate, big donor?
Is this just a new way of justifying privilege bias in admissions?
@Anonymous EXACTLY!!!
I absolutely know parents like that - and you don't even have to go to the suburbs to find them. My child plays a sport in Manhattan and some of the parents are absolutely convinced at 10 years old, mind you, that sports are the ticket to a better college offer. They push and push and their kids are already injured at young ages. Thousands of dollars spent on private lessons, elite teams, fancy equipment. I do think it's more prevalent in the suburbs as our team has like 2-3 crazy parents and when we play a suburban team...it's an entire team of crazy, screaming parents. Maybe it works for a few elite kids, but for the vast majority, I just see a bunch of overworked kids with injuries happening at far too young of an age.
I read this, it’s insane. Sports are for fun only in our home. My friend growing up lived and breathed soccer. Scholarship was taken away first semester bc of an injury!
Scholarship but not the admission. For parents doing the latter is the real goal. The scholarship is just a bonus
@Anonymous Correct. They can afford full pay. It's just a way to get your foot in the door.
Completely insane! It's not enough to pay for a $400 per class coach or hire one to live in your guest house, but some even went out to fund charities to make the sport popular among disadvantaged kids, in order to make it seem less elitist.
"In other words, the same squash luminaries who underwrite squash-access programs have installed training regimens for their own children that make it difficult for regular kids to crack the system. There may be no better allegory for our era."
That quote really struck me as well. Especially after the conversation on here yesterday about pandemic pods. "make(s) it diffcult for regular kids to crack the system." Seriously. The rich get richer in so many ways...
I think we all know families like this and Fairfield County is definitely the epi-center! In Manhattan it is harder to keep up but those with extraordinary means find a way. There is a family who has a pool in their building and an olympic swimmer living with them to privately train their kid. Kid is a good swimmer for the city and mom brags away about him. It's the epitome of being born on 3rd base and thinking you hit a home run.
Any almost all those kids won't even it make it home so it's more like being born on 3rd base and bragging you hit a triple.
WHAT? That's crazy!
Glad my kids aren't into sports that much. My daughter (tween) says she wants to be a tennis player when she grow up , I flat out said No. I'm not schlepping her around and blowing the wad on tennis, it should be for fun alone, and she's not that great a player so it would be just grief for her. I don't get it. And I work FT