Can identify as well. I am in a similar boat. I know that I need therapy.
I can totally relate to this post. Although I am in mess myself so can’t give any advice other than good luck !!
Really thankful you recognize the problem and are trying to address it. Hurt people hurt people......
Wait, how are you managing an affair during Covid? are you already working at the office?
It is largely emotional - have only seen each other twice. covid is definitely dampening it. we Do not work together. logistics aside, This reply is hardly helpful to me.
Thanks - have been married for over 20 years. had a long affair mid way through and just started another. This one is short lived and not going anywhere. both men are terrible people, but I Am attracted to them nonetheless. And am not attracted to dh Who is a good and kind man. Something is wrong with me. I am so dissatisfied. Not sure whar My options and answers are. This is a mess of an explanation, but that’s how my head feels. Help.
@Anonymous Maybe there was also someone else. There was a woman who would regularly post on UB about how amazing her affair partner was, how he would surprise her with lavish gifts all the time, and how dull her husband was. And then I'm pretty sure the affair partner dumped her. Maybe I'm confusing Erdem with another designer or maybe there are multiple people, and also, this person is not 10 years past any illicit activity because I don't think I was on UB THAT long. I also have the Vampire's Wife (another designer) in my head, but again, I really might be confusing posts.
Anyway, good for you for getting treatment and for working to be well. Seriously.
What is treatment for borderline and what were the signs? Thanks
The best treatment is DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) and I bet you could find a virtual group on line to take the classes. That said a key component of these groups is opposite what you are doing here- which is, sharing details of your life- it is strictly skills- based and sharing can augment the attention-seeking behavior. So regardless - I would urge you not to post here and instead seek guidance from a qualified DBT therapist to give you tools to manage your discomfort without seeking / relying on self-harming behaviors (attention seeking, affairs, cutting, drugs, alcohol, toxic relationships). Understand you lack the resilience others have to manage under stress and it's normal right now to want an escape - hell, we all do - but the fact that you recognize this behavior isn't effective and in fact seems to be augmenting the very same feelings of low self worth you want to minimize - is a great first step towards successful treatment. Good luck. And I don't mean to sound harsh. I'm telling it from experience.
I will too. Tomorrow if I don't see your post tonight. One piece of advice for now: everything looks better and less bleak in the morning. Hugs.