It is largely emotional - have only seen each other twice. covid is definitely dampening it. we Do not work together. logistics aside, This reply is hardly helpful to me.

@Anonymous Maybe there was also someone else. There was a woman who would regularly post on UB about how amazing her affair partner was, how he would surprise her with lavish gifts all the time, and how dull her husband was. And then I'm pretty sure the affair partner dumped her. Maybe I'm confusing Erdem with another designer or maybe there are multiple people, and also, this person is not 10 years past any illicit activity because I don't think I was on UB THAT long. I also have the Vampire's Wife (another designer) in my head, but again, I really might be confusing posts.

Anyway, good for you for getting treatment and for working to be well. Seriously.

What is treatment for borderline and what were the signs? Thanks

The best treatment is DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) and I bet you could find a virtual group on line to take the classes. That said a key component of these groups is opposite what you are doing here- which is, sharing details of your life- it is strictly skills- based and sharing can augment the attention-seeking behavior. So regardless - I would urge you not to post here and instead seek guidance from a qualified DBT therapist to give you tools to manage your discomfort without seeking / relying on self-harming behaviors (attention seeking, affairs, cutting, drugs, alcohol, toxic relationships). Understand you lack the resilience others have to manage under stress and it's normal right now to want an escape - hell, we all do - but the fact that you recognize this behavior isn't effective and in fact seems to be augmenting the very same feelings of low self worth you want to minimize - is a great first step towards successful treatment. Good luck. And I don't mean to sound harsh. I'm telling it from experience.