4 and 7 year old have so much stuff. But every Christmas dh just wants to get them a ton because he remembers being a child and loving waking up Christmas morning to tons of gifts. Some gifts are small but ive already spent. Like 1100
Same here. It’s ridiculous. One year, dc actually begged off opening more presents if you can believe it. we had all gotten to the main gifts we wanted and dc just didn’t want to open anymore but to play with what was opened. It’s definitely too much but I try to balance with very few gifts for birthdays, doing for others etc.
My DH and his family are exactly like this. He buys multiple presents for his siblings, nieces, nephews and parents. My only child ends up with a ridiculous number of presents. I realized there is nothing I can do about it. I have tried to tell him it’s completely excessive. My compromise is that my kid only gets presents on her bday and Christmas. When we go to a store she doesn’t get to pick up a random toy here or there like other kids.
Thanks, good to get some perspective here. We also rarely buy toys aside from Christmas and birthdays. i don’t think it’s worth the fight but I didn’t grow up like this and don’t see this as such a necessary experience. I know ds’s would be thrilled with 3-4 presents each but that’s just wouldn’t be Christmas to dh. The sales associate at the store asked me if I was making one or many kids happy and I said 2 actually and he asked if he could be adopted. just so much stuff !
We usually realize, especially when the gifts from relatives come in, that we have overbought for the kids for Christmas. So we usually end up holding things back and saving them for their birthdays (spring), and then we're covered for that.
Are we married to the same man? Yes! I find it so annoying. I fear my kids will be spoiled. I grew up in a family where we just got 3-4 gifts for Christmas and I'm sure I was just as excited as he was as a kid when when he got his piles of presents. Then the kids ignore half the stuff they got to focus on a few gifts, because seriously a kid just cannot wrap their head around all these things simultaneously. Some of the thing will get played with for 1 day and then I will spend the next 3 months picking it up off the floor. And I agree with the other poster that once you set a certain level of present expectations, it's hard to go back because I don't want to be a grinch.
My DH is the opposite: if it were up to him there would be no gifts, on any occasion. He just doesn't see the point of gifts. If someone needs something, he'll buy it. He doesn't see the point of tying it to a birthday or holiday. While I think there's a middle ground, my kids have never been upset by receiving almost nothing for a birthday/holiday and that's a good thing.
I'm kinda like this. But I'm trying to get better. My DH and I have rarely exchanged gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, etc. This year, my DH forgot my birthday (not the first time) and I normally don't care. For some reason, this year it really annoyed me and I can't let it go. I'm going to try to set a better for the whole family.
Sometimes I’m so happy to be Jewish 😂 I don’t really think there is much “magic” to Hanukkah other than that it’s fun to get 8 presents and I promise are kids are okay!
I gotta say, I find the 8 presents per kid to be pretty excessive, even if some of the presents are practical things like socks. But as to the OP's issue, I don't think you're going to prevail here. This is too deeply ingrained, and frankly not worth the conflict. I agree that the extreme consumerism is not "magical" and it is obviously causing you stress, but this is a once a year thing. If he is spoiling the kids and showering them with toys all year long, then you have a serious problem that needs to be addressed.
I struggle with this myself. How to create that magic without being wasteful. Unfortunately it's a dangerous cycle because the higher you set the bar the more you have to do each year to outdo the year before and make sure they're not disappointed. I've created this problem and it's very hard to unring the bell. But I've found that experiences go a long way and prolong the excitement, especially as the children get older. Being told christmas morning about an upcoming trip or tickets for an event is not only exciting in the moment but also keeps that anticipation alive after the last of the presents are unwrapped. Same with gifts that become a project for the day. A lego set that you can spend christmas day putting together for example. A board game you can all play as a family. Also, I tend to restock essentials on christmas and birthdays so a bunch of the presents in the large present pile will turn out to be a six month supply of toothbrushes and socks, etc. Mixed in with real gifts. They're things we would buy anyway but the unwrapping is fun and it often gets a chuckle. And my last tip is to wrap everything individually. It's tempting if you buy a bunch of clothes or a stack of books to load up one package and wrap it. But it's more fun if you wrap each shirt separately, for example.
Ugh! I'm your husband. LOL!
Same here. It’s ridiculous. One year, dc actually begged off opening more presents if you can believe it. we had all gotten to the main gifts we wanted and dc just didn’t want to open anymore but to play with what was opened. It’s definitely too much but I try to balance with very few gifts for birthdays, doing for others etc.
My DH and his family are exactly like this. He buys multiple presents for his siblings, nieces, nephews and parents. My only child ends up with a ridiculous number of presents. I realized there is nothing I can do about it. I have tried to tell him it’s completely excessive. My compromise is that my kid only gets presents on her bday and Christmas. When we go to a store she doesn’t get to pick up a random toy here or there like other kids.
We usually realize, especially when the gifts from relatives come in, that we have overbought for the kids for Christmas. So we usually end up holding things back and saving them for their birthdays (spring), and then we're covered for that.
My dh for Me and the kids. It’s too much but he lives for Christmas
Are we married to the same man? Yes! I find it so annoying. I fear my kids will be spoiled. I grew up in a family where we just got 3-4 gifts for Christmas and I'm sure I was just as excited as he was as a kid when when he got his piles of presents. Then the kids ignore half the stuff they got to focus on a few gifts, because seriously a kid just cannot wrap their head around all these things simultaneously. Some of the thing will get played with for 1 day and then I will spend the next 3 months picking it up off the floor. And I agree with the other poster that once you set a certain level of present expectations, it's hard to go back because I don't want to be a grinch.
My DH is the opposite: if it were up to him there would be no gifts, on any occasion. He just doesn't see the point of gifts. If someone needs something, he'll buy it. He doesn't see the point of tying it to a birthday or holiday. While I think there's a middle ground, my kids have never been upset by receiving almost nothing for a birthday/holiday and that's a good thing.
Sometimes I’m so happy to be Jewish 😂 I don’t really think there is much “magic” to Hanukkah other than that it’s fun to get 8 presents and I promise are kids are okay!
I struggle with this myself. How to create that magic without being wasteful. Unfortunately it's a dangerous cycle because the higher you set the bar the more you have to do each year to outdo the year before and make sure they're not disappointed. I've created this problem and it's very hard to unring the bell. But I've found that experiences go a long way and prolong the excitement, especially as the children get older. Being told christmas morning about an upcoming trip or tickets for an event is not only exciting in the moment but also keeps that anticipation alive after the last of the presents are unwrapped. Same with gifts that become a project for the day. A lego set that you can spend christmas day putting together for example. A board game you can all play as a family. Also, I tend to restock essentials on christmas and birthdays so a bunch of the presents in the large present pile will turn out to be a six month supply of toothbrushes and socks, etc. Mixed in with real gifts. They're things we would buy anyway but the unwrapping is fun and it often gets a chuckle. And my last tip is to wrap everything individually. It's tempting if you buy a bunch of clothes or a stack of books to load up one package and wrap it. But it's more fun if you wrap each shirt separately, for example.