Guys, here is what's happening for me at home. DC age 11 is a TOTAL ASSHOLE if he's given a screen or ipad for more than an hour a day. He has SN and seems particularly sensitive to the screen in that his behavior goes downhill fast. If I take the screen away and give him art projects and other fun things to do he is brilliant and so happy. But requires constant attention. As an FYI he has a 1:1 para at school so I am not making up how tough this is on us. Fuck the pandemic and fuck Trump

My kids are not special needs, but I find things are also more calm with less screen time. I'm sorry you are going through a rough time.
Same with my younger DC, but dammit I have sh*t to get done, I cannot spend all day monitoring and entertaining.
@Anonymous OP: Same. It's a simple choice between good parenting and good employeeing. FML.
can he spend as much time outside as possible??
Yes we are fortunately at my friend's loaned cabin in the country but he doesn't want to be outside. He wants to be inside on a screen. Like the majority of kids in America...
what about hiring a mother’s helper college aged guy to help with dc? He could come over and play board games or do science kits/art? He might be missing the attention of the para.
also, is the ipad needed for school? can it disappear for a time?
I am loathe to hire some young person during a pandemic. But I may have to. I don't really have the money. I have a cousin come over 10 hours a week but that's about all I can do right now (and I trust the cousin to make healthy choices when not with us). DC needs the screen for school but I have a desktop and I don't know it seems like there is a different relationship with a desktop v. ipad. He can much more easily hop off the desktop. Perhaps there's something about proximity and intimacy of an ipad that a desktop doesn't have.
He can earn the iPad by completing chores and activities. I find that the later I can push the screen usage, the happier our days. Get him a ton of low-mess, low-parent crafts like Shrinkydinks and model magic and the 1000 dot to dot books. Maybe get a science kit. If you can get him to do the stuff outside you won't even have to worry about messes.