With the lack of support, and family and remote school - ft job and young kids, at least once a day I find myself thinking - I literally can't do this any more. Like - a pit of anxiety about it that never really goes away. Obviously I do then do it. But curious if others have similar thoughts?
I feel the same. DH has been in the office throughout the pandemics, they never closed so it was just me and a 6yr old. He’s been at school in person for the past 6wks but that’s likely coming to an end if we become an orange zone. It’s really upsetting and there is no support. Not from work, not from anybody. I try to cherish the time I have with him
I knew when all this started that most of the burden would fall on women. I hate how unsupported we are.
@Anonymous Where on earth are your husbands, and why do they get a pass??
Just take one day at a time. It sucks but others have it worse. Be gentle on yourself
I'm of two minds. First, I have never been able to spend this much time with DC and I'm enjoying every moment of it. Second, I WFH full-time and DC have been remotely learning since March. DH works on-site and we have no help. I'm having a really hard time keeping up with everything. Mostly, I've been shit at my job, and even though my salary is 70% of our HHI, I'd be so happy to lose it. It's all just too much.
sometimes I just can't believe what we're supposed to be doing right now... it's crazy that there's been no legal protections rolled out for parents, or any financial assistance - it's just nuts.
It sucks.
I’ve outsourced a lot so I’m doing ok. I have a full nanny and a tutor on all remote days (now every day). Last spring was a disaster, my nanny tried but it was very difficult to get ds to do any work so I tried a different approach this fall and it’s working well. I decided we were either getting some help and having it run smoothly or just skipping the expectation that ds would do any schoolwork- it’s not worth the aggravation.
if you dont mind my asking you; how much is it costing weekly to have full time nanny and tutor?
(not bc it's bad to spend the money on it - if you can it's absolutely a great use of $, just curious)
My nanny is 24$ per hour for 50 hours and tutor has been anywhere from 4-9 hours per week at 40$ an hour, expect tutoring to increase to 10-12 hours a week since school is closed now.
I love love love being able to see dc throughout the day during this all remote time. But dh and I are both working like fiends on very high stakes situations, so the work requirements are unbelievably stressful and hard. The only thing we could do differently is get live in help, but i don’t think either one of us wants to go there just yet. It feels like admitting defeat on the last thing we had reserved for ourselves, though it may yet come to that.
I feel really grateful for this extra time with my teens, as I know they'll be leaving the nest soon. My job has always been WFH and very flexible, so that's easy. I feel lucky that we have the resources to get them the tech they need and that we have enough space for everyone to have privacy, and we have a little bit of outdoor space too. We are UB LMC, for sure, but at this point, I'm grateful for what we do have rather than all that we don't. But I'm sad that my kids are missing out on so much. But, overall, it is so much easier with older kids. Mad respect to those of you with young kids and demanding jobs. I know you all are overwhelmed and frustrated, but you got this, ladies. You're doing the impossible.
@Anon Please tell me how you are UB LMC and still have enough space for teenagers AND space outdoors!
I have a teen & tween and am also grateful for the time with them, but we all have NO privacy and it's so painful. Our 1000 sq foot apartment was perfectly fine pre-pandemic but it's painful right now.
And I too hate that they're missing so much - time with friends- my teenager should be going to dances and maybe even dating, not sitting home with me and DH.
@anonymous Lives in the boros ?
I’m exhausted having 3 kids home remote learning. I also realize how much time DH wastes on nonsense conversations instead of getting work done and logging off. I work like a dog to get done by 5, so we are opposite. I recently resigned because we can’t manage 3 young kids home plus both working. There is just no support and the teachers are barely teaching, so we gave up the lower salary. To add, I didn’t realize how difficult and argumentative my kids really are . I‘ve always worked and we are always so busy! Now that I am home with them, wow. Especially my almost 5 yo.
It's nuts. i'm not sure parents are meant to parent their young kids totally solo. Not having ANY support is mindblowingly hard. I am currently sitting in my apt as the kids are outside with dh for a rare moment and the joy and peace i feel in my soul for this brief moment of respite and solitude is indescribable. which in and of itself is kind of sad.
I've actually enjoyed this time. I have one kid in K. My DH does his part and it's been kind of great to see what he's being taught, get to know his teachers and little classmates on Zoom, and spend a lot more of the day with him.
His NYC public has done a bang-up job w the remote learning, so that doesn't hurt.