Despite my most herculean efforts, this pandemic is making me into a bad mom. I am exhausted from wft and overseeing remote schooling, hyperactive, emotional children. Some days are good but too many days I snap, and am not fun, and sometimes yell, enact inconsistent discipline, and am cranky, and forget to help their brains grow (etc etc). I still try my best every day but i am NOT bringing my a game any more - I am FRIED. Does anyone else feel this way? If you feel the opposite and that you have killed parenting during covid I am super happy for you - but no need to share in this thread.
I feel like i have a knot in my stomach most of the day bc at this point I am so exhausted and burned out that the effort of trying to be a good parent is giving me anxiety. this is why they say the village thing I guess.
I get it. I had an especially bad week this past week. Totally bitchy mood. Don't beat yourself up. Try the best you can.
DH does most of the school related stuff but this past week, I have been really down about the pandemic, and the lack of hope. Biden isn’t giving any good outlook, just basically doing the same as Trump (upping 900k shots per day to $1M - what the heck? That’s the same thing!). I haven’t been nice and understanding at all. I am not usually funny so that’s nothing new, but I am usually very nice, I think.
even though you may not want to hear this, reminder that this is just as hard for these kids as it is for us adults..their schedules/lives completely disrupted..hopefully we are nearing the finish line hang in
I think about this every night after bedtime. And then I beat myself up even more for not recognizing it during the hard moments from that day. It’s a vicious cycle.
@Anonymous ok well good you realize...kids are not meant to be stuck at home learning on screens and not with their friends..its really tough for them
@Anonymous howl old are your kids and how many do you have?
I feel like a terrible mixture of in over my head, frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, and phoning it in. If you’d have asked me a year ago I’d have told you I was meant for this motherhood thing— I just loved it. Now? I’m completely lost and burned out.
Same. I feel like covid has robbed me of things like - looking forward to being a mom on holidays. Now I just dread anything that adds extra pressure
I used to look forward to it too. Add this to my phoning it in list this year.
I have teens so I’m not exactly there, but I will tell you this , I feel terrible for parents with younger kids, it sounds like a ridiculously impossible job. As far as
mothering of teens go, my son is up all night on video games and my daughter is up all Night on snap chat. I suck im over it. Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s a global problem not a you problem. Hang in!
It sucks for all. I have teens - I can't imagine having to deal if my kids were younger. But having teens in this (especially girls) has its own set of difficulties. It is emotionally draining.
I used to look forward to 3 day weekend- this last one I dreaded. I still had the nanny come on and I worked half a day even though I was off. My kids are very young and needy and with is never-ending. No where to escape to, no destination, no way to entertain them on the weekends is cold, at can't go anywhere. It really sucks. So my 3yo wants to watch tv at 6am and I just let her. Ugh.
It's so so bad over here. I hate how much I'm yelling and dh and I are not a team anymore. My youngest asked if we were getting a divorce the other day. I used to be a somewhat fun mom and I loved helping with homework and cooking dinner and hanging out with them. Now I want to escape to my room at night -- it's just endless interactions all day long. And the bickering is relentless. Why won't they stop fighting? I haven't had a day where everyone is in school at the same time since March. I am bitter that I can't do my freelance job any more, bitter that I have allowed my kids to get so addicted to screens, bitter that we are all on top of each other in this apartment. And I feel so guilty for feeling bitter because I'm sure we have it so much easier than 99% of other people out there.
you summed up my life pretty well except I have had some days at home alone. And then I feel weirdly lonely. I miss the office. I miss obsessing over stupid shit. I miss my old body. I miss seeing friends. Sure it's first world problems. Does that make it any better? No.. We are all having valid struggles right now, and without knowing when it will end it just makes it even worse.
The only people I know who are not having a really hard time are people who are living their lives as if Covid doesn't exist -- same amount of staff coming in and out of their homes, regular gatherings, vacations, etc. For people who are trying to do the right thing, it's a very objectively hard and isolating scenario to be working from home, taking care of kids, and doing it all without support and respite. It's just an impossible situation, and we should all cut ourselves some slack.
Thank you for saying this. FWIW some of the families I know "having staff come in and out of the home" have contracted Covid.
op - yes but i didn't start this post to shame anyone - i feel like that's the worst part is that there's no way to really mitigate the situation if you are literally sinking without adding risk. Like we are all trying to keep our heads above water mentally and just do the best we can. And for some people they are sinking or maybe they just need to not lose their job and they need help to the extent that they have to risk the exposure.
@Anonymous Or they rationally determined that getting COVID and having a flu for a few days is worth not wrecking their whole lives for 2 years.
Except it's not just about them getting Covid, it's about someone 3 steps away contracting it because of them and dying or having terrible lifelong complications . duh
Listen I answered above about families getting Covid. We have a housekeeper once a week. She's in a mask and so are we. so far so good. She developed Covid and we all tested and thankfully are fine. So for us all being masked worked Thank God. But absolutely it is a risk. I am working FT with the kids home and the house needs attention at least once a week.
To answer your question, we all feel this way and there would be something wrong with you if you didn't. I am trying to just take one day at a time and not think about the big picture. Just get through each day as best I can, and when it's over, erase yesterday and start again.